We've been trying to tell everyone now that we are trying so that they can get over the shock and be ready with the congratulations when we finally say we're pregnant. This was a big goal over the holidays with the families. We've been saying to our parents for years "when we have kids..." just to get them used to the idea, but now we told them we are actually trying.
My parents have the reaction they always have when I bring up kids. They just get silent and stop talking. They'll get used to it when there is an actual baby involved, I'm sure. I mentioned it to my sister in an email once and she never responded, but I think she's too wrapped up in her own life to even care.
I told some close family friends, essentially my aunt and uncle that we did everything with when I was a kid. The husband paused, and said "Really?". Then he thought for a moment and said, "Yeah, you can't really go through life without having kids, can you?" then tried to convince us to name our son after him. I'll call this one a good reaction.
I told my aunt in a letter. She didn't say anything about it, but for Christmas she handmade us two stuffed animals.
I told my partner's mom. My partner is an only child and her mom really wants grandkids, so she's always been very excited. She told me that we should get Pakistani sperm. I said, "But K's Indian, so we should get Indian sperm." She said, matter-of-fact, "No, K's Pakistani, just look at her features." And I said, "How can K be Pakistani if you are Indian?" And she said "I'm Indian, yes, but I think her grandfather on her father's side must have been Pakistani. How else would K look so Pakistani?" And I thought, why did I do this while K is in the shower? I always forget how crazy that woman is, but at least she's supportive.
We told K's aunt and young cousins. The aunt is always supportive. She is a nurse, so she said "I know this is rude to ask, but I have to know how you plan to do it." At least she knew it was rude to ask. Most people don't.
We also sent Christmas cards to our state legislators with pictures of our family, saying that 2008 is a year of hope, where we hope to expand our family and we hope for the passage of the Marriage Protection and Religious Freedom Act before our baby is born. We received a response from only one, Jamie Raskin, who mentioned that his kids are of babysitting age if we need it. And that, along with many other reasons, is why that man will have my vote forever, for whatever he runs for.
So now everyone knows. They can sit with that information and get used to it. No one can say we didn't warn them.