Tuesday, April 28, 2009

37 weeks - Full term and ready

We are full-term today. We are ready to have this baby. We want to hold it, smell it's little head, kiss it's tummy, listen to it breathe, sing to it, and tell it how much we love it. I hate that we might have to wait 5 more weeks.

Monday, April 27, 2009


At the midwife's a week ago, she did a vaginal exam and found that I was 40-50% effaced. Over the weekend I noticed a sharp increase in white discharge, which I read this morning is a sign that your mucus plug is preparing to discharge. Our next midwife appointment is Wednesday. I can't wait to see how much progress has been made. I just wish that progress could be traced to a time line. So if we're 40% effaced, then we have X weeks left, or something like that. But it just doesn't work that way sadly.


I've read that you are supposed to count 10 movements an hour twice a day during the last trimester, but I've been avoiding it. I've seen this kind of thing make women crazy. I've felt that as long as I feel the baby move, I know it's still alive and I don't need to do anything official. At our midwife appointment last week, she asked that I count 10 movements an hour once a day after dinner and record it on a log, and bring that log to the appointment each week. And if I don't get to 10 in an hour, call. We couldn't avoid it any longer, so I started keeping a log.

But instead of making me crazy, it's been the opposite. I don't worry about the baby's movement except during that time of day. It gives me one time a day to think about the movement, check in and make sure all is on track, and then not worry any more. And since every evening I've been able to get 10 in 20 minutes or less, it's given me confidence that the baby is really okay. Instead of making me crazy, I've been given peace of mind.

My aching back

I've been having a backache lately, maybe for the past week. Mostly when I sit down for a long time. It was just sitting in the car or on our chaise, but for the past couple of days it was sitting anywhere. On Friday it was some serious pain and Saturday was pretty bad too. I figured it was normal pregnancy pain. I checked it out in my trusty 'What to Expect' book yesterday and I was right. It's caused by leaning back while standing to account for the big belly. How to avoid it - try to stand up straight, sit up straight, don't sit for more than 30 minutes without getting up, and don't wear heels.

Heels. I've been wearing them throughout my pregnancy and for the last month people have been saying "I can't believe you're still wearing heels." I've noticed that I walk slower in heels - they don't work well with my waddle. And I already walk slowly lately anyway, so this is very slowly. But besides that they weren't really giving me much trouble. I like shoe variety. My ankles have become cankles. My legs are short and stocky. I like the way I look in heels much better than flats. I'm very short and I like the height that I get from heels.

But I haven't worn heels since Friday. I wore some very high heels on Friday and had a lot of back pain, the worst yet. Today I'm wearing flats. I wore flip flops all weekend. Today my backache is more of a dull pain than anything else. There may be something to this heel thing. I guess I'll put my heels away for a few weeks.


Friday was K's baby shower at her work. I got to meet her coworkers that I've heard so much about and see her office for the first time. It was fun. And we got a big Target gift card, which is awesome.

We've been saving all of our gift cards and we have a lot of money from Target and now we have to figure out how to spend them. We're thinking breast pump ($230), 12 cloth diapers ($204), nursing tank tops ($18 each - how many should we buy?). Maybe that's all we need right now?

It's HOT!

Our early spring heat wave is too much for someone this pregnant! It's been in the 90's since Friday and we won't get relief until Wednesday. I've been hot for about a month as it is - waking up in the night drenched in sweat, baking at work, barely able to function. But now it's actually hot outside, on top of my normal hot, it's just too much!

Saturday I woke up with some serious nesting urges. I woke at 7am (on my own - no alarm) and put in a load of laundry and then started cleaning the kitchen. Then we went to some yard sales and got some great baby items, then to the farmers market. After that trip outside, all of my energy for nesting was gone. I still had the urge, but couldn't do anything. I ended up doing some low-key things, making lunch from our tasty farmers market stash, and then taking a nap while K cleaned the balcony in the heat. The heat just wiped me out.

Sunday was just as hot. We had our pregnancy support group meeting (the last one we'll be attending - the next one is scheduled for the day after our due date). It was hosted by a couple that doesn't have AC in their home. I can't live like that! I was soaked in sweat after our 1.5 hour meeting. My underwear were completely soaked. I stunk and felt sticky and gross. All I could think of was going home to shower. I don't know how the pregnant woman who lives there can handle it. She's due in June and it's only going to get hotter.

Based on this heat, I hope the baby comes sooner than later. If this is any indication of what our spring will be like (thanks global warming...), I can't take it much longer. Thank God for AC! And I'm so glad I don't live in FL anymore.

Monday, April 20, 2009

36 week midwife appointment

This morning was our 36 week appointment. I've gained a total of 21 pounds so far, but 4 pounds in the past two weeks. Actually, I know that I gained it all in the first week and none in the second week. The midwife was a little concerned and suggested I drink lemon in my water, eat lots of watermelon, and soak in a warm bath each evening for 30 minutes. My uterus is now measuring 36 cm, which is also a lot of growth. 2 weeks ago, it was only 32.5 cm.

This week starts the weekly appointments and the vaginal exams. I haven't had to take my pants off at these appointments for months, but this week I did. She said my cervix is still closed but it is 40-50% effaced, so it's certainly preparing for birth. She did a quick ultrasound and confirmed that the baby was head down and in the right position for birth. So we are good to go.

We went through the birth plan and what to do if I go into labor. From this point on, if I went into labor, they wouldn't try to stop it since I'm close enough to the due date. She said to call if there is any spotting, any water breaking (even just a trickle), or contractions 5 minutes apart for an hour. In the next few weeks I should be sitting cross-legged to loosen the hips, practice squatting if I can, and sitting on the birth ball. Also, I should start taking Evening Primrose Oil, doing perineal massages to loosen things up down there, and keeping a daily log of the baby's movement. Lots of info to absorb.

After my appointment I came to a nice surprise waiting at my office. A coworker left a bathtime gift set. A very sweet surprise.

We spent the weekend checking things off of our to-do list. Friday night - we went swimming, which was something really important to K - to swim with me in my huge state. It felt pretty good, so we may go again next weekend. Also Friday night, we finished the birth plan just in time for our appointment today. Saturday - cleaned the nursery and hallway and finished all baby laundry. Sunday - cleaned hall bath and stocked up on supplies at grocery store. Now we have tons of toilet paper and frozen food - we spent about $350 between Safeway and Trader Joe's. But we won't have to go to a grocery store for a long time hopefully. But the way I'm peeing we may need more toilet paper sooner than later. We also learned to use our video camera, so we're all set to record that birth! It feels good checking these things off of our list.

K talked to her mom yesterday, which is always annoying. She doesn't like the name we chosen for our daughter if we have one. She would be named after K's grandma, which you would think K's mom would love. But she says, very authoritavely, "I never liked that name, don't name her that. I like the name Rama, that's what you should name her." We don't like the name Rama, it's not special to us like the name we chose, but thanks for your advice. It's not up for discussion.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

35 week photo shoot

We did a photo shoot last weekend in Rock Creek Park and around our neighborhood. We needed to document this big belly before it pops. I'm much bigger now though. You certainly grow fast toward the end.

Friday, April 17, 2009


Our doggy helps with the baby laundry.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Boy or girl?

That's the first thing everyone asks. And now that I'm so undeniably pregnant, I get it from strangers almost daily. Answer - we don't know. Today a friend asked what I thought it was. Not sure. Very early on I had a very vivid dream about bringing home a little girl in a flowered dress. Only a few weeks ago K had a dream that we were having a boy. Many people have emphatically pointed at my belly and said "That's a boy!" but this was done most often by the woman who cleans our bathrooms at work. One person (I can't remember who) pointed at my stomach and said "You are definitely carrying a girl" but this conflicts with what everyone else says about the shape of my stomach. My Chinese coworkers said that if you have a boy, you will have nice skin and crave sour food, if you have a girl, you will have bad skin and crave spicy food. According to this, we're having a boy. A Chinese chart online predicts the gender based on the month you conceived and how old you were when you conceived. According to this, we are having a girl, but we conceived on August 31, so that's pretty border line. Bottom line - we just don't know.

But we could find out. We have a sealed envelope at home that we planned to open as we got closer, and we're certainly close now. But K changed her mind recently - she wants the "It's a girl!" moment. I want to know. I was expecting to know - that's why we have an envelope. But I have to wait because I can't keep a secret.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Hospital bag - check!

Last night we packed our hospital bag - mostly. There are so many last minute things to put in there - computer, camera, ipod. But we're mostly ready to go once the big day comes. We packed a lot - I wonder if others pack this much. But we don't want to have to come home if we forget something, and we don't want to have to go buy something. We want to have everything we need so that we can stay warm and cozy in the postpartum room with our little family.

Packing the baby clothes got me a little emotional. Up until this point I feel like we've been gathering things for a baby eventually, but this made it very real. We were packing clothes for our baby to wear. Wow, that's weird. I'm 35 weeks today. In two weeks we will be full term. The baby could come anywhere in the next 2-7 weeks. I'm trying to get used to the fact that I could be a mom in 2 weeks, but also preparing myself for the fact that nothing may happen for almost 2 months.

I made a list of things to do before the baby is born and it's pretty long. I don't know when we'll be doing these things. Some of it is a wish list, but some of it is really necessary. Here's hoping we get it done.

  • Swim - on 4/17 (this is one of K's dreams - to swim with me in my big pregnant state - and it hasn't happened yet)
  • Birth plan - before April 20 (36 week midwife appointment)
  • Follow up with RE about second parent adoption letter - after 4/21 (two weeks from when we first contacted her)
  • Buy remaining baby products - after K's work shower on 4/24 - breast pump, cloth diapers, hamper, what else?
  • Pack hospital bag - before 4/28 (37 weeks)
  • Get keys made for I (he's watching our dog) - by 4/28
  • Get dog food and other items packed for I - by 4/28
  • Learn to use Flip mino (video camera we got for Christmas from my parents but haven't used yet - now's the time!) - by 4/28
  • Call about how to use cord blood banking kit - by 4/28
  • Go through mail and pay any bills - by 4/28
  • Get phone list to L for labor day phone tree - by 4/28
  • Change sheets on our bed - 4/28 (who knows when we'll do this again)
  • Return books to library - by 4/28
  • Load Itunes onto new computer - by 4/28
  • Load McAffee onto new computer - by 4/28
  • Load Flip mino onto new computer - by 4/28
  • Clean inside of car - before 5/2 (when the car seat gets installed)
  • Car seat inspection - 5/2
  • Spring clean - master bath, hall bath, hallway, kitchen, nursery, balcony
  • Finish baby laundry
  • Cook food for freezer
  • Stock up on frozen food & boxed food, frozen vegetables, canned fruit,drinks, toilet paper for after birth
  • Sleep with our dog a few more times (she's not allowed in our bed so sometimes we sleep with her on the sleeper sofa) and tell her how much we love her constantly

Tuesday, April 14, 2009


On Sunday I was wearing my corduroy capris that I got hand-me-down from my friend E. I like them because they are green and all other maternity pants that I own are black or khaki, so it's nice just to have a little color. I haven't worn them much because they are capris and it only recently got warm enough to wear them. BUT they are pretty worn looking. And when I was wearing them on Sunday, they were snug, and I said a few times 'this is the last day I can wear these - they are getting too tight'.

Well, Sunday evening we had J over teaching me to cook dahl. She asked for a frying pan, I bent down to get one for her, and rip! The ass split open about 6 inches. I ran to the bedroom to change - trying to hide my ass from R, J, and J's fiance - and I'm not sure how successful I was.

This rip was beyond repair - not even close to the seam. I just said goodbye and threw the pants in the garbage. Now the pants I'm wearing today are too snug. I hope we don't have a repeat incident.

Monday, April 13, 2009

My office

My office is a horrible mess. Papers everywhere, empty water bottles, stacks of reports on my desk. It's gross. On my list of things to do before maternity leave is to clean this trash heap up. I can't imagine coming back here after three months and being met with this mess. Well, today my mouse stopped working - it could go side to side but not up and down. So essentially I couldn't use my computer. Perfect timing. After reporting the problem to IT, I spent about 1 hour sorting things, throwing things out, emptying my mail box, putting reports on shelves and in file cabinets. Then I came back to my computer after calling the IT folks to ask about my replacement, and my mouse started working again. It was strange but allowed me to at least start cleaning this place up. It's still gross, but not like it was. I've thrown things out but now I have to sort things and put them away and clean my desk with some product to remove the grossness and recycle all of these empty water bottles. But it's a start.

I have been so disgustingly hot lately. I wake up in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. I bake in my office. My last days of pregnancy, and the heat that comes with that, are coinciding with the beginning of spring, which means it's too hot for heat and too cold for AC. If we open the windows at home, K is freezing, but I'm still waking in the night drenched in sweat. At work I have no choice - there are no windows in my office. I sit here baking, unable to think or move or do anything. I've always been a hot person, but this is unbearable. Today, after throwing things out and putting things on shelves, I made room for a fan on my desk, which I promptly requested when my mouse started working again. And now it is blowing on me and it feels so good.

So, so tired

This weekend K's high school friend R came from NYC for an impromptu visit. I'm exhausted. We didn't do much. Usually when we have company we are active and busy the whole time. But this time we specifically planned a low key, hanging out kind of weekend. And yet I'm still exhausted. 8 and a half months pregnant is just a lot, I guess.

R is 29 and getting her PhD. She has a sort of delayed adulthood thing going on. She's in many ways naive and knows nothing about the world, since she's never really done anything but go to school. She called earlier in the week to plan the trip, asking if I was home for maternity leave. I said "uh, no, I have to get paid."

She takes her academics very seriously since that's all she knows and is constantly talking about how her program is so hard, so much harder than everyone else's. Example, she said she needed to bone up on Latin American history. I asked why. She said "Because for my degree, I need to know everything." And she wasn't kidding - she really believes that. It's a lot to take for a whole weekend. I just remind myself that this small world is all she has, so she has to make it seem special.

She's starting to feel baby pressure. Her program is an 8 year degree program, just for the PhD (because, you know, it's such a hard program), so she won't graduate for another 5 years, when she's 34. She doesn't want to wait until then to have babies because it's too close to the magic 35 number when everything goes down hill. But she just broke up with her boyfriend/fiance of 5 years and she makes very little money as a grad student. So her biological clock is ticking and she sees no way to get what she wants. I actually can't imagine her as a mother so I hope she waits awhile. She's got some serious growing up to do.

We went Friday night to Baby's R Us to register and receive our free gifts and $10 gift card. The gifts were a newborn bottle and pacifier by Avent that match the bottles we already own (hand-me-downs). With the gift card, we bought a breast milk storage organizer for the freezer. Then we went to Kohl's with a $10 gift card that came in the mail for the big 'grand re-opening'. I got a maternity shirt that looks like it will fit for a while, maybe even last through the rest of the pregnancy. Total cost for the shopping trip at both stores - $11. We did quite well for $11.

Saturday morning we died eggs. This was K's first time - at 29 years old. Easter just wasn't a big deal in her Hindu/Muslim family. I like Easter, and now that we're having kids we're going to start celebrating. So this year we colored eggs. We decided that as a way to blend our cultures, in the future we'll use the eggs to make egg curry for our Easter dinner, one of K's favorite meals. I just need to learn to make egg curry.

Saturday night we went to this South-Asian panel discussion about coming out to your families. The event was free and dinner was served. It was all vegetarian and so tasty. I don't think we knew it was about coming out or we may not have gone. Lots of South Asians are not out to their families, so it was an important event for the community, but we've been out for about 8 years, so the positiveness and encouragement wasn't really needed for us.
The conversation with R afterwards really annoyed me. She is a white, straight woman from a very wealthy family, so she's kind of always had what she wants. She said that it's not important to tell coming out stories because isn't everyone over that already? And she said that anyone who's not out is just a coward. When I tried to say that it's really scary and hard, she pointed out that we've been out for years so it wasn't hard for us. Um, yeah, it was really hard, it is really hard still. And just because we don't talk about it a lot doesn't mean it's easy - we just like to remain positive. When I pointed out that she was white and straight, she exploded "Yeah, so I've never been oppressed." Well, hmm, has your mom ever told you that you are the same as a child molester? If you got married, would your parents attend the wedding? Does anyone get on TV talking about how you are bringing society down? Does anyone go to congress to have debates about whether or not you should get married? Does anyone vote in general elections about whether or not you should be able to adopt children? When you tell your coworkers about your partner, do they look uncomfortable and try to get out of the conversation, and from then on refer to her as your 'friend' with a weird tone? When you tell people you're pregnant, are their first words "How?" It's not just coming out to your parents, although that's a lot. But it's everything. It's your whole life. It's the news, it's work, it's the grocery store, it's every where you go. Until you live that life daily, you are in no position to call a person that does a coward.

Sunday morning we had an Easter brunch. L came over to join us. L said that since moving here two weeks ago, every time someone asks why he moved, he says "Because I want to have a baby." They look at him strangely and then he explains that as a gay man, that wouldn't be legal in FL. He says he'd like to adopt within 5 years. And he's telling this to men he's dating. He's like the woman who asks a man on the first date if he likes kids. He's caught the baby fever.

Sunday evening our dog walker, who happens to be Indian, came over to teach me to cook dahl. Dahl is one of the first foods you feed Indian babies, so K wants me to learn to make it. Like any good Indian cook, she wasn't much of a teacher. She came with the spices already mixed, so I have no idea what she put in the dahl. But at least I learned consistency so maybe I'll be able to find a good recipe to make it on my own. I guess I need to start practicing soon, but I don't think I'll get to it for a while.

Now I'm exhausted. Hopefully I can recover this evening. We have Project Runway from Netflix, so maybe we'll just watch that and relax and go to bed early.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

How much weight have you gained?

Today I got that question for the first time. I was in the elevator with a woman who works in my company that I don't know but see often in the elevator. She asked all of the normal question "So when are you due? Boy or girl?" Then said "How much weight have you gained?" I gave her a strange look and she said "I gained about 60 pounds when I was pregnant!" So I said "Oh, I've only gained about 17 pounds. I've been lucky." Then she looked disappointed and then I got off of the elevator. Sorry to disappoint but I just haven't gained that much. Partially I've tried to eat healthy, partially I've been forced to eat healthy due to my gallstones. I certainly had enough to begin with that I don't need much more.

Last night's dinner with our friend E was interesting. According to her, she does everything in their marriage, she doesn't think it's a partnership, and she needs some space to feel like herself again. When she was talking about what he doesn't do, I thought about all of the things I don't do, and how upset K gets with me sometimes about it. E said "After reminding someone to take out the trash every Thursday for 19 years, you get sick of it." I thought, what if K is sitting around a table 10 years from now saying the same thing? After she left, I told K how I felt and she said I was being silly, that I do a lot of stuff, that she feels like we have a partnership. I'm very secure in our relationship, and have been for many years, but talking someone who's been married for 19 years and wanting a divorce just threw me.

I ate too much last night at our dinner. We went out for Indian and then back to our place for sorbet and cookies and afterwards, I was feeling very, very full. Sometimes that feeling of fullness starts to feel like a feeling of pressure and gas and then lots of pain and then I'm throwing up because I have gallstones and can't eat like I want to. So I rested and I was okay, but I was a little nervous. But the Indian food tasted so good!

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Surprises abound

Last night was another big surprise. My mom called and said they wanted to visit for 4th of July to meet the baby. We never bothered asking them to come to visit because the last time we did was full of drama. We asked them to take off their shoes while they were here and they sent an email threatening not to come because they are 'not vegetarians and do not worship Indian culture' and if we wanted them to visit we had to accept them as they are, in a longer and angrier email than this. We said fine, wear your shoes, if shoes are more important than visiting your daughter. They did come in January 2008 and we all had a good time. But then K and I said to each other that we would never ask them to visit again - they could come if they wanted but we wouldn't ask. And if they didn't visit, we wouldn't go out of our way to visit them either. We've seen them twice since getting pregnant, and talked on the phone a few times, and have never said to them "When will you come to meet your grandchild?" They surprised us by asking to visit. Babies change things. It will be interesting to see how the next 18 years go.

Tonight we are having dinner with a friend who is separating from her husband. It's so sad. They were college sweethearts just like we are. They've been together for 19 years and they are only 40 years old. They have two kids that they adopted from Korea after years of struggling with infertility - a 12 year old girl and 9 year old boy. They are good people that always seem happy and like they are having fun together. We had no clue that they were having trouble. They came to our baby shower a few weeks ago as a family and we co-hosted an Arrested Development viewing party with both of them in January. Everything seemed normal. I guess you just never know. But tonight should be a sad one for sure.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

34 week midwife appointment

Yesterday was our 34 week midwife appointment. In two weeks we start going every week. Wow. Everything is going well. I've gained 17 pounds and measure 32.5 cm, a little on the small side but within range. She said that the baby has not dropped, no matter how many people say that it has. This made K feel better - no early birth!

Sunday was our pregnancy support group and we got to meet three babies that have been born since we got pregnant - from 5.5 months to 8 weeks old. All were quite cute. And we got to hear their birth stories - all different. One couple used the midwives and labored mostly at home and seemed to have it really easy. One couple had pitocin and an epidural with a doctor who made them wait to give birth until the doctor could be found since she doesn't get paid unless she's present in the room for it (I don't care if the doctor gets paid - the baby's coming out when it comes out!). And one woman was induced and eventually had a poorly done c-section. The midwife story sounded the easiest and least painful so I'm happy that this will be our path too.

Our friend L has moved to town finally and he's going to be at the birth. K told him I might piss and shit and vomit and he said, "yeah, okay". Then she said I may strip down naked and he said "whoa, what?". Nudity is much worse than shit, I guess! K is trying to prepare him with stuff from The Birth Partner book that she is reading to take the edge off of her a little. And she put him in charge of the phone tree. He says he up for all of it.

Yesterday we got some surprises when we came home. First, waiting in front of our door was a very expensive $280 car seat we had registered for. Everyone says the Britax Marathon is the best so we registered for it as our replacement for when our baby outgrows the infant seat, but didn't really expect to get it. But a co-worker friend of mine bought it for us. Nobody spends that much on their friends! It's crazy. But we are thankful. Then we opened our mail and found a $200 Target gift card - no return address, no card, just a note saying "Many exciting adventures ahead!" Who would anonymously send us a $200 gift card? It's crazy! K sent around an email today asking people to fess up so that we can thank them, but no leads yet. All we know is that the envelope was mailed from MD, so that narrows it down a bit, but we can't think of anyone of our local friends who haven't given us a gift already.

This morning sucked. I was eating yogurt, started coughing, and threw up all over myself. At work. I went to the bathroom and cleaned up and then asked a friend if I smelled of puke. She said I didn't and gave me some perfume just in case. I felt fine before and felt fine after but I threw up! So goes the life of a pregnant woman, I guess.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Refurbishing baby clothes

Almost all of our baby clothes are hand-me-downs. In fact, almost all of our baby things are hand-me-downs. We've been really lucky to get some great stuff from friends and also worked hard to get stuff from freecycle, neighborhood moms listservs, and yesterday's big garage sale clean up. So we have tons of clothes and only some of it is nice. Since we do have so much, we've been choosy. We didn't keep anything that is stained or too worn looking, but we did keep stuff we don't really like. It would be so much fun to go shopping and buy clothes that we love, clothes that we can't wait to dress our baby in, clothes that make our baby look cool and hip and fun. But we don't want to spend money on clothes that last about 3 months before the kid grows out of them, so we're making due with what we have.

We've gotten some really cool gifts that will make our baby look like a rock star - I Love NY onesies, a onesie that says "My Moms Rock", a onesie that says "Punk Baby", a t-shirt that says "Barf Vader", a t-shirt that says "Aren't you a little short for a storm trooper?", a sleeper in 70's colors of orange and reds, an Indian baby outfit, a bib that says "HRC baby", a onesie that says "Chillin in my crib", a bib with a robot on it. And we've gotten some cool things as hand-me-downs or from the thrift store - a camouflage t-shirt and hat, a KISS t-shirt, a Chinese outfit, two African outfits, a fleece leopard print hoody and pants set. These are things we can't wait to dress our child in.

But some of the other stuff is plain, or cutesy, or even ugly. And this is where K has been working her magic. She's been ironing things onto these onesies and sleepers and t-shirts to jazz them up, using iron on letters, premade iron-ons, patches, and things printed from the computer. Now we have some really fun clothes that were only so-so before.

We got a pack of white onesies as a gift and she ironed on sayings like "The force is strong in this one...", and "Everyone loves a Southern Girl". One says "The Prettiest Thing in Silver Spring" which is a quote she from her historic Silver Spring walking tour - it used to be the logo for a car dealership back in the 70's when our neighborhood was pretty shabby and a car dealership was the prettiest thing in Silver Spring. Now it will be our baby. Another says "Silver Spring's Ambassador of Love", a take on our favorite band They Might Be Giants' slogan "Brooklyn's Ambassadors of Love". One says "BRAT" in sparkly letters.

We had a night gown and a footed PJ that were both decorated with baby chicks. She added "Hatched by two chicks". A sleeper covered in clouds and moons now says "I love the nightlife, I've got to boogy". A sleeper covered in hearts says "I love my mommies". An ugly onesie covered in turtles and chicks now says "Fashion victim". The camo t-shirt says "Rock Star". A purple onesie says "SUGAR" across the bottom. A t-shirt says "Nobody puts baby in the corner". A fleece outfit for winter has an anarchy patch.

She's done many, many alterations. We keep a drawer of clothes to be altered always adding more, always coming up with more ideas. These clothes are fun, better than going shopping for clothes because these came from us. They are our ideas and they make us happy. Although it would still be awesome to go out and buy new clothes.

We love the word 'FREE'

Yesterday outside of K's work was a community garage sale. At 4pm everything was free for the taking - whatever was left you could just walk away with. K said most people were just grabbing a handfull of things, but not her. She came home with three large bags, half of which were for the baby. She called me and asked me to pick her up from the metro since she had so much stuff to carry home. Some of the goodies - bassinet sheets, a co-sleeper sheet, lots of parenting books, cards and stickers from a baby keepsake box (maybe we could use these to make baby announcements), books about pregnancy and parenting, a sippy cup, baby spoons and forks, new baby proofing items, bottles, a 'baby bag' that you put on the baby in the stroller when it's cold outside (this one is practically brand new), new clips and labels for breast milk freezer storage bags, iron on letters we plan to use for refurbishing used baby clothes, and lots of other stuff I can't remember. Then we went to a friend's house last night to pick up our character reference letters they wrote for the second-parent adoption and she gave us a huge bag of crib sheets. It was quite a day.

We received in the mail a flyer for Babies R Us that says that if you register with them you get a $10 gift card and a goody bag. We don't shop there because they received a failing score from HRC. But we don't mind getting stuff from them for free - in fact it feels good to stick it to them. So we plan to go tonight to register and get our free goodies. We've made a list of things we need that cost $10 so we can find something to buy tonight and never have to go back.

Second parent adoption

Tomorrow we meet with our lawyer to set up the paperwork for second parent adoption. We've gathered letters from family and friends, statements of health from our doctors, tax records, family pictures, financial statements. We've written our values statements. We're as prepared as we can be.

The lawyer's office is in the same building as a women's clinic that also performs abortions. There are protesters every Saturday morning, so we'll be there in prime time for the protesters. We used to live only a block away and would walk by the protesters many times. They are aggressive and rude and yell things about killing babies to every woman who walks by, whether or not she is headed into the clinic. Since we'll be heading into the building this time instead of just walking by, I'm sure they will assume we are going to the women's clinic. We plan to tell them I'm there for an abortion. At 33 weeks pregnant that's not anywhere near legal, but it should put them into a fury that will give them something to do for the rest of the day. We could also tell them we are a same sex couple meeting with our lawyer - I'm sure they also don't believe in same-sex marriage.

Iowa strikes down gay marriage ban


We used to live in this state. I'm beaming with pride! Maybe we really will retire to an old Victorian mansion in Des Moines after all.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Lightening and Amma's voice

A woman I don't know but see often in the bathroom at work said yesterday that she thinks my baby has dropped. I think she might be right because since Saturday I have been peeing constantly - like sometimes every half hour. This is the main symptom of dropping/lightening. I checked it out and basically first time moms can drop up to four weeks before the baby is born, though it could be less. Hmm, I'm at 33 weeks now. Four weeks from now would be 37 weeks, just full term. K has always said that she thinks this baby will come early even though first time moms usually come late. She just has a feeling. Let's hope it's not too early. I'm starting to feel the pressure of getting everything done at work.

I've noticed the baby gets more active when he/she hears K's voice. She loves to hear her Amma's voice. K likes to sing to the belly and when she does there will be movement exactly where K's mouth is. K has had late meetings for the past few nights and when she comes home, there is more activity in my belly. That one can't wait to see Amma face to face.