Saturday, January 12, 2008
Sex. The books say you should have it three times a week to increase your fertility. Sadly, we don't. We used to. Then we got a dog in May, a very needy dog who wants to be in the middle of everything we do. When we start to act sexy and ignore her, she starts to wimper. She looks at us with puppy dog eyes, and we feel sad. She puts her paws on the bed, watches us with despair, and wimpers. And it just feels weird. Then, if some body part gets too close to the edge of the bed, she licks it, which is just gross and disturbing, and makes you feel unsexy. This puts a big damper on our sex life. But we've been trying to figure out how to get past these problems, because, well, we like sex. Increasing my fertility is just an added benefit. If we can't have sex now, with only a dog, what will we do when we have children?