Friday, January 11, 2008


We're faced with two options. Go through all of this to try to get pregnant on our own, or adopt. K and I talked about it last night, and we just feel adoption is not an option. We'd love to adopt a baby from India or Guyana, but most countries have laws against same-sex couples adopting babies. So we'd have to go back in the closet and hide our relationship. After all of these years, I don't even know how we'd do that. How do you hide that your life is completely entangled with someone elses? Also, we heard that judges are starting to deny second parent adoptions for these couples that lied to the international agencies.

We talked to a couple who adopted from India. They were assigned a baby when she was 3 months old, and when we spoke to them, the baby was over two and still living in an orphanage in India. They were approved for the adoption, but the Indian government kept dragging their feet. I can't imagine the torture of knowing your baby is out there but you can't have her.

There's always domestic adoption, but we've always heard that while adoption agencies say they are willing to allow same-sex couples to adopt, they secretly have a preference for hetero couples. So we would be a last resort. I don't want to be treated like that. That's why we left the south. We try to avoid situations where we aren't respected because it just doesn't feel good. I don't have the strength to put up with that kind of rejection, of being told our family is okay, but not as good as this nice family over here with a mom and a dad.

So we feel like this is our only option. And it's okay because we like it this way. I want to be pregnant, and K wants me to be pregnant. So let's just hope it works.

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