Showing posts with label same-sex. Show all posts
Showing posts with label same-sex. Show all posts
Thursday, March 13, 2008
Baby shower advocacy
We are hosting a baby shower for A&C this Saturday and we wanted to include a little advocacy at the shower. A baby shower might not seem like the right place for advocacy, but when you live without rights like we do, you do advocacy whenever you can. Of course there will be cake and punch and games and everything that you would expect from a baby shower, but we thought we could put five minutes aside to send a letter to our legislators asking them to support marriage for A&C and all of the other families with children in MD that can't get married. We typed up a form letter and we're asking everyone at the party to sign five copies. Then after the party K & I will address them to the governor and the appropriate delegates and senator, stick in a picture from the party, and mail it away. Here's a copy of the letter:
Dear
I attended a baby shower today for my dear friends – A and C – who live in Greenbelt. They've known each other since they were young children, and after getting married in 2006, they are ready for the next step. I am so excited for them; they will be such wonderful parents! The shower was a lot of fun. I've included a picture from the party.
I am so excited for them, but I am bothered by the fact that they cannot get married and protect their family. It's one thing to be treated as a second-class citizen when you are a young couple with few worries, but it's another thing completely when your family expands.
A and C both grew up in Prince Georges County and they both have family there. They bought a home a few years ago in historic downtown Greenbelt, just down the street from C's parents, in a neighborhood C grew up in. They chose to live in downtown Greenbelt because of the community, thinking it would be a great place to raise their children, especially because the grandparents live so close and can play a big role in the children's lives.
They could move somewhere where same-sex marriage or civil unions are legal. In the past year, two couples they know have moved from PG County to Vermont for this reason. But by moving they would be leaving their family, friends, and community behind. It's sad that they have had to make a choice between providing protections for their family and living near their extended family. It shouldn't be a choice that a family has to make.
Please help bring peace of mind to my friends A, C, and the soon-to-be baby, and the other families in Maryland, by supporting the Marriage Protection and Religious Freedom Act.
Sincerely,
Dear
I attended a baby shower today for my dear friends – A and C – who live in Greenbelt. They've known each other since they were young children, and after getting married in 2006, they are ready for the next step. I am so excited for them; they will be such wonderful parents! The shower was a lot of fun. I've included a picture from the party.
I am so excited for them, but I am bothered by the fact that they cannot get married and protect their family. It's one thing to be treated as a second-class citizen when you are a young couple with few worries, but it's another thing completely when your family expands.
A and C both grew up in Prince Georges County and they both have family there. They bought a home a few years ago in historic downtown Greenbelt, just down the street from C's parents, in a neighborhood C grew up in. They chose to live in downtown Greenbelt because of the community, thinking it would be a great place to raise their children, especially because the grandparents live so close and can play a big role in the children's lives.
They could move somewhere where same-sex marriage or civil unions are legal. In the past year, two couples they know have moved from PG County to Vermont for this reason. But by moving they would be leaving their family, friends, and community behind. It's sad that they have had to make a choice between providing protections for their family and living near their extended family. It shouldn't be a choice that a family has to make.
Please help bring peace of mind to my friends A, C, and the soon-to-be baby, and the other families in Maryland, by supporting the Marriage Protection and Religious Freedom Act.
Sincerely,
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
LGBT Friendly Children's Books
We are throwing a baby shower for A & C, and they have asked for LGBT friendly children's books. I was looking up what is available on Amazon, and found these, and thought I'd share. Let me know what you think of these books, or if you know of others. The only one of these that I've read is And Tango Makes Three.
And Tango Makes Three by Peter Parnell (Author), Justin Richardson (Author)
PreSchool-Grade 3-This tale based on a true story about a charming penguin family living in New York City's Central Park Zoo will capture the hearts of penguin lovers everywhere. Roy and Silo, two male penguins, are "a little bit different." They cuddle and share a nest like the other penguin couples, and when all the others start hatching eggs, they want to be parents, too. Determined and hopeful, they bring an egg-shaped rock back to their nest and proceed to start caring for it. They have little luck, until a watchful zookeeper decides they deserve a chance at having their own family and gives them an egg in need of nurturing. The dedicated and enthusiastic fathers do a great job of hatching their funny and adorable daughter, and the three can still be seen at the zoo today. Done in soft watercolors, the illustrations set the tone for this uplifting story, and readers will find it hard to resist the penguins' comical expressions. The well-designed pages perfectly marry words and pictures, allowing readers to savor each illustration. An author's note provides more information about Roy, Silo, Tango, and other chinstrap penguins. This joyful story about the meaning of family is a must for any library.
King & King by Linda De Haan (Author), Stern Nijland (Author), Linda De Haan (Author)
When a grouchy queen tells her layabout son that it's time for him to marry, he sighs, "Very well, Mother.... I must say, though, I've never cared much for princesses." His young page winks. Several unsatisfactory bachelorettes visit the castle before "Princess Madeleine and her brother, Prince Lee" appear in the doorway. The hero is smitten at once. "What a wonderful prince!" he and Prince Lee both exclaim, as a shower of tiny Valentine hearts flutters between them. First-time co-authors and artists de Hann and Nijland matter-of-factly conclude with the royal wedding of "King and King," the page boy's blushing romance with the leftover princess and the assurance that "everyone lives happily ever after." Unfortunately, the multimedia collages are cluttered with clashing colors, amorphous paper shapes, scribbles of ink and bleary brushstrokes; the characters' features are indistinct and sometimes ugly. Despite its gleeful disruption of the boy-meets-girl formula, this alterna-tale is not the fairest of them all. For a visually appealing and more nuanced treatment of diversity in general, Kitty Crowther's recent Jack and Jim is a better choice. Ages 6-up.
King & King & Family by Linda De Haan (Author), Stern Mijland (Author), Stern Nijland (Author)
PreSchool-Grade 2–In this follow-up to King & King (Tricycle, 2002), King Lee and King Bertie have just married and embark on a honeymoon. As they fly off to jungle country, the two men soon discover that their cat has stowed away in their suitcase. The travelers happily tramp through the wilderness and paddle down a river, observing the wildlife as they go. Before long, they have a strange feeling that something is following them. Upon returning home, they discover another stowaway in their suitcase–this time it's a young girl from the jungle, whom they joyfully adopt and everyone lives happily ever after. The mixed-media collage illustrations are colorful with lots to look at on each page–perhaps too much, as some of the spreads are a bit cluttered. Bertie's travel diary is reproduced on the book's centerfold, hinting at the surprise ending. The text is brief and fun, and the relationships are treated matter-of-factly. However, children may wonder why the men do not try to find the little girl's family, or check to see if anyone is searching for her. All in all, this story about a nontraditional family is a bit heavy-handed.
One Dad, Two Dads, Brown Dad, Blue Dads by Johnny Valentine (Author), Melody Sarecky (Illustrator)
PreSchool-Grade 2-The message that all people are basically the same whatever their skin color or sexual orientation is a worthy one, but this book, despite its cheerful pictures, is too didactic to have much appeal. In rhyming text, two children discuss a boy's two blue dads. He points out that, aside from their color, they are the same as other fathers-they work, play, and laugh. His friend wonders how they got that way and offers numerous explanations, but he tells her that they are blue simply because they are. The only trouble with the situation is that they are hard to see against the sky. "But except for that problem,/our life is routine,/and they're just like all other dads-/black, white, or green." And when the girl declares that she has never seen a green dad, a new child appears, stating that her two fathers are both green. Children young enough to take the tale at face value will probably think it is silly (since people are neither blue nor green), while older readers would be better served by a straightforward presentation of the subject matter.
The Family Book by Todd Parr (Author)
PreSchool-Grade 2-As he did in The Mommy Book and The Daddy Book (both Little, Brown, 2002), Parr introduces children to an array of families. Whimsical illustrations featuring neon colors and figures outlined in black show big ones and small ones, and families that look alike and relatives who look just like their pets. The art features both human and animal figures; thus, pigs depict both a family that likes to be clean, and one that likes to be messy. Some families include stepmoms, stepdads, stepsisters, or stepbrothers; some adopt children. Other families have two moms or two dads, while some children have only one parent. Interspersed with the differences among families are the ways they are alike: all like to hug each other, are sad when they lose someone they love, enjoy celebrating special days together, and can help each other to be strong. This concept book celebrating the diversity of family groups is distinguished by its sense of fun.
Who's in a Family? by Robert Skutch (Author), Laura Nienhaus (Illustrator)
Beginning with a traditional nuclear family and ending with blank spaces in which the child reader is instructed to "draw a picture of your family," this slight book catalogues multicultural contemporary family units, including those with single parents, lesbian and gay parents, mixed-race couples, grandparents and divorced parents. Kevin and his brother like their kimono-clad grandmother to help them with their jigsaw puzzles, while Ricky lives with two families. "Aunt Amanda and Uncle Stan," pictured riding in a blue convertible with their pets, "don't have any children at all" but are "still a family," says the narrator, because "they say Mouser and Fred are their 'babies.'" Because "animals have families, too," the text describes elephant, lion, chimpanzee and dog families as well as human families. (A human family headed by a mother is "like the chimpanzee family. Mama chimp raises the babies by herself, with the help of any older children she may have.") Nienhaus's lackluster illustrations, the schoolmarmish tone of the text and the comparisons with wild animals all tend to undercut the final definition of a family as "the people who love you the most!" Ages 3-7.
Heather Has Two Mommies (Alyson Wonderland) by Leslea Newman (Author), Diana Souza (Illustrator)
This handsome 10-anniversary edition of a minor classic presents the story of Heather, a preschooler with two moms who discovers that some of her friends have very different sorts of families. Juan, for example, has a mommy and a daddy and a big brother named Carlos. Miriam has a mommy and a baby sister. And Joshua has a mommy, a daddy, and a stepdaddy. Their teacher Molly encourages the children to draw pictures of their families, and reassures them that "each family is special" and that "the most important thing about a family is that all the people in it love each other." In the afterword, the author (whose other children's books include Matzo Ball Moon) explains that although she grew up in a Jewish home, in a Jewish neighborhood, there were no families like hers on the television or in picture books. She came to regard her family as somehow "wrong," since there was no Christmas tree in the living room and no Easter egg hunt. Whatever the religious right may wish to think about nontraditional families, there is no denying that any child enrolled in an American school will encounter friends with single parents, gay parents, stepparents, or adoptive parents. This new, revised version of Heather Has Two Mommies offers an enjoyable, upbeat, age-appropriate introduction to the idea of family diversity. The book is essential for children (ages 2 to 6) with gay parents or family members, and a great addition to a Rainbow Curriculum.
Molly's Family by Nancy Garden (Author), Sharon Wooding (Author)
PreSchool-Grade 1-To get ready for kindergarten Open School Night, Molly draws a picture of her family to hang on the wall-herself, Mommy, Mama Lu, and their puppy. After seeing the picture, her classmates tell her, "No one has two mommies." Despite her teacher's efforts to be supportive, the child is still concerned. That night, her parents explain, "we decided we had so much love that we wanted to share it with a baby." Thus, one of them is her birth mother; the other an adoptive parent. Still, Molly leaves her drawing home the next day. With further matter-of-fact reassurance by her teacher and the budding understanding that all families are different, Molly, and indeed the whole class, grows to accept her own family, and she proudly hangs her picture on the wall. While the children in the story are not shy about expressing their feelings, the author diffuses any tension by remaining focused on logic: Molly's family is as she claims. By tying this specific household to the general diversity within all families, Garden manages to celebrate them all. The soft colored-pencil drawings with their many realistic details depict a room full of active kindergartners. There is a squat sweetness to the characters as they work together to make everything look and feel right.
ABC A Family Alphabet Book by Bobbie Combs (Author), Desiree Keane (Illustrator), Brian Rappa (Illustrator)
It's family fun from A to Z in this alphabet book that shows kids and their parents laughing, playing and enjoying family life. All of the brilliant watercolors depict families headed by gays and lesbians. "C is for cookies. Both of my dads know how to make great chocolate chip cookies." "L is for lunch. We always pack a picnic lunch when my moms take me to the beach."
It's Okay to Be Different by Todd Parr (Author)
For anyone who ever doubted it, Todd Parr is here to tell us all that it's okay to be different. With his signature artistic style, featuring brightly colored, childlike figures outlined in heavy black, Parr shows readers over and over that just about anything goes. From the sensitive ("It's okay to be adopted"--the accompanying illustration shows a kangaroo with a puppy in her pouch) to the downright silly ("It's okay to eat macaroni and cheese in the bathtub"), kids of every shape, size, color, family makeup, and background will feel included in this gentle, witty book. In this simple, playful celebration of diversity, Parr doesn't need to hammer readers over the head with his message.
Families by Susan Kuklin (Illustrator)
Kindergarten-Grade 4–This book consists of interviews with the children from 15 different families, including mixed-race, immigrant, gay, lesbian, and divorced, as well as single parents and families for whom religion is a focal point. The children may be adopted, have special needs, be only children or have multiple siblings, and, of course, the characteristics frequently overlap. The interviews focus on the youngsters' feelings about being part of their family: adults do not interfere. The voices are natural, and the children come across as individuals, not just representative of a particular lifestyle or ethnic group. According to an author's note, Kuklin allowed her subjects to choose how they would be photographed, including the clothing worn and what family mementos would be shown. Working with those constraints, Kuklin has composed sharp and vibrant photos that capture the essence of each of them. This book will be both attractive to browsers and an excellent impetus for discussing relationships and diversity in America.
The Different Dragon by Jennifer Bryan (Author), Danamarie Hosler (Illustrator)
This bedtime story about bedtime stories shows how the wonderful care and curiosity of a little boy, with some help from his willing moms, can lead to magical and unexpected places. Join Noah and his cat, Diva, on this nighttime adventure and you too will leave with an unforgettable new dragon friend!
Flying Free
A picture book for children of LGBT and diverse families. Flying Free is narrated by a firefly captured by a five-year-old girl named Violet. Violet plans to use the firefly as her very own nightlight. Her mommies, Mommy Blue and Mama Red, go along with the idea, but the firefly refuses to live in a glass jar. After several attempts, the firefly devises the ultimate escape plan. . .what will her fate be? Flying Free is suitable for children age 2-6.
Felicia's Favorite Story by Leslea Newman (Author), Adriana Romo (Illustrator)
PreSchool-Grade 1-In a story set in a loving family with two women as parents, a little girl asks for her favorite bedtime story-the tale of how she became part of the family. As Felicia asks questions and fills in the blanks, her mothers playfully relate the tale of their decision to share their love by bringing her into their lives. The gentle, rhythmic text perfectly mirrors the give-and-take that occurs with preschoolers when parents extend the story: Did they decide to adopt a giraffe, a mouse, or a baby? Did they take a boat or a car to Guatemala to pick her up? Was she as small as a button or a cookie when she was a baby? In the cozy conclusion to her own story and the book itself, Felicia's moms tell her that her name means "happy" in Spanish-a feeling shared by all. Each piece of art is framed by a stylistic geometric border reminiscent of stained glass. The smiling child and parents are drawn in a somewhat static style that is softened by the use of pastel colored pencils. This is a comforting book for children in alternative families as well as a pleasant tale for all children who rejoice in sharing their own life story.
Mom And Mum Are Getting Married by Ken Setterington (Author), Alice Priestly (Illustrator)
Kindergarten-Grade 3–Rosie's two mothers are going to get married. When Mom tells her daughter about their plans, the youngster asks if she can be a bridesmaid or a flower girl, but Mom just wants a small celebration. Rosie offers another option–she and her brother, Jack, will carry the rings. Predictably, when the big day arrives, the rings are temporarily misplaced (by the couple). Rosie comes up with a solution to prevent them from getting lost a second time, and the wedding comes off without a hitch. "A perfect day," says Mum. The ink-and-colored pencil drawings are somewhat flat but colorful. While the story is slight and not particularly engaging, libraries needing to augment their collections on gay lifestyles may want to consider it.–
And Tango Makes Three by Peter Parnell (Author), Justin Richardson (Author)
PreSchool-Grade 3-This tale based on a true story about a charming penguin family living in New York City's Central Park Zoo will capture the hearts of penguin lovers everywhere. Roy and Silo, two male penguins, are "a little bit different." They cuddle and share a nest like the other penguin couples, and when all the others start hatching eggs, they want to be parents, too. Determined and hopeful, they bring an egg-shaped rock back to their nest and proceed to start caring for it. They have little luck, until a watchful zookeeper decides they deserve a chance at having their own family and gives them an egg in need of nurturing. The dedicated and enthusiastic fathers do a great job of hatching their funny and adorable daughter, and the three can still be seen at the zoo today. Done in soft watercolors, the illustrations set the tone for this uplifting story, and readers will find it hard to resist the penguins' comical expressions. The well-designed pages perfectly marry words and pictures, allowing readers to savor each illustration. An author's note provides more information about Roy, Silo, Tango, and other chinstrap penguins. This joyful story about the meaning of family is a must for any library.
King & King by Linda De Haan (Author), Stern Nijland (Author), Linda De Haan (Author)
When a grouchy queen tells her layabout son that it's time for him to marry, he sighs, "Very well, Mother.... I must say, though, I've never cared much for princesses." His young page winks. Several unsatisfactory bachelorettes visit the castle before "Princess Madeleine and her brother, Prince Lee" appear in the doorway. The hero is smitten at once. "What a wonderful prince!" he and Prince Lee both exclaim, as a shower of tiny Valentine hearts flutters between them. First-time co-authors and artists de Hann and Nijland matter-of-factly conclude with the royal wedding of "King and King," the page boy's blushing romance with the leftover princess and the assurance that "everyone lives happily ever after." Unfortunately, the multimedia collages are cluttered with clashing colors, amorphous paper shapes, scribbles of ink and bleary brushstrokes; the characters' features are indistinct and sometimes ugly. Despite its gleeful disruption of the boy-meets-girl formula, this alterna-tale is not the fairest of them all. For a visually appealing and more nuanced treatment of diversity in general, Kitty Crowther's recent Jack and Jim is a better choice. Ages 6-up.
King & King & Family by Linda De Haan (Author), Stern Mijland (Author), Stern Nijland (Author)
PreSchool-Grade 2–In this follow-up to King & King (Tricycle, 2002), King Lee and King Bertie have just married and embark on a honeymoon. As they fly off to jungle country, the two men soon discover that their cat has stowed away in their suitcase. The travelers happily tramp through the wilderness and paddle down a river, observing the wildlife as they go. Before long, they have a strange feeling that something is following them. Upon returning home, they discover another stowaway in their suitcase–this time it's a young girl from the jungle, whom they joyfully adopt and everyone lives happily ever after. The mixed-media collage illustrations are colorful with lots to look at on each page–perhaps too much, as some of the spreads are a bit cluttered. Bertie's travel diary is reproduced on the book's centerfold, hinting at the surprise ending. The text is brief and fun, and the relationships are treated matter-of-factly. However, children may wonder why the men do not try to find the little girl's family, or check to see if anyone is searching for her. All in all, this story about a nontraditional family is a bit heavy-handed.
One Dad, Two Dads, Brown Dad, Blue Dads by Johnny Valentine (Author), Melody Sarecky (Illustrator)
PreSchool-Grade 2-The message that all people are basically the same whatever their skin color or sexual orientation is a worthy one, but this book, despite its cheerful pictures, is too didactic to have much appeal. In rhyming text, two children discuss a boy's two blue dads. He points out that, aside from their color, they are the same as other fathers-they work, play, and laugh. His friend wonders how they got that way and offers numerous explanations, but he tells her that they are blue simply because they are. The only trouble with the situation is that they are hard to see against the sky. "But except for that problem,/our life is routine,/and they're just like all other dads-/black, white, or green." And when the girl declares that she has never seen a green dad, a new child appears, stating that her two fathers are both green. Children young enough to take the tale at face value will probably think it is silly (since people are neither blue nor green), while older readers would be better served by a straightforward presentation of the subject matter.
The Family Book by Todd Parr (Author)
PreSchool-Grade 2-As he did in The Mommy Book and The Daddy Book (both Little, Brown, 2002), Parr introduces children to an array of families. Whimsical illustrations featuring neon colors and figures outlined in black show big ones and small ones, and families that look alike and relatives who look just like their pets. The art features both human and animal figures; thus, pigs depict both a family that likes to be clean, and one that likes to be messy. Some families include stepmoms, stepdads, stepsisters, or stepbrothers; some adopt children. Other families have two moms or two dads, while some children have only one parent. Interspersed with the differences among families are the ways they are alike: all like to hug each other, are sad when they lose someone they love, enjoy celebrating special days together, and can help each other to be strong. This concept book celebrating the diversity of family groups is distinguished by its sense of fun.
Who's in a Family? by Robert Skutch (Author), Laura Nienhaus (Illustrator)
Beginning with a traditional nuclear family and ending with blank spaces in which the child reader is instructed to "draw a picture of your family," this slight book catalogues multicultural contemporary family units, including those with single parents, lesbian and gay parents, mixed-race couples, grandparents and divorced parents. Kevin and his brother like their kimono-clad grandmother to help them with their jigsaw puzzles, while Ricky lives with two families. "Aunt Amanda and Uncle Stan," pictured riding in a blue convertible with their pets, "don't have any children at all" but are "still a family," says the narrator, because "they say Mouser and Fred are their 'babies.'" Because "animals have families, too," the text describes elephant, lion, chimpanzee and dog families as well as human families. (A human family headed by a mother is "like the chimpanzee family. Mama chimp raises the babies by herself, with the help of any older children she may have.") Nienhaus's lackluster illustrations, the schoolmarmish tone of the text and the comparisons with wild animals all tend to undercut the final definition of a family as "the people who love you the most!" Ages 3-7.
Heather Has Two Mommies (Alyson Wonderland) by Leslea Newman (Author), Diana Souza (Illustrator)
This handsome 10-anniversary edition of a minor classic presents the story of Heather, a preschooler with two moms who discovers that some of her friends have very different sorts of families. Juan, for example, has a mommy and a daddy and a big brother named Carlos. Miriam has a mommy and a baby sister. And Joshua has a mommy, a daddy, and a stepdaddy. Their teacher Molly encourages the children to draw pictures of their families, and reassures them that "each family is special" and that "the most important thing about a family is that all the people in it love each other." In the afterword, the author (whose other children's books include Matzo Ball Moon) explains that although she grew up in a Jewish home, in a Jewish neighborhood, there were no families like hers on the television or in picture books. She came to regard her family as somehow "wrong," since there was no Christmas tree in the living room and no Easter egg hunt. Whatever the religious right may wish to think about nontraditional families, there is no denying that any child enrolled in an American school will encounter friends with single parents, gay parents, stepparents, or adoptive parents. This new, revised version of Heather Has Two Mommies offers an enjoyable, upbeat, age-appropriate introduction to the idea of family diversity. The book is essential for children (ages 2 to 6) with gay parents or family members, and a great addition to a Rainbow Curriculum.
Molly's Family by Nancy Garden (Author), Sharon Wooding (Author)
PreSchool-Grade 1-To get ready for kindergarten Open School Night, Molly draws a picture of her family to hang on the wall-herself, Mommy, Mama Lu, and their puppy. After seeing the picture, her classmates tell her, "No one has two mommies." Despite her teacher's efforts to be supportive, the child is still concerned. That night, her parents explain, "we decided we had so much love that we wanted to share it with a baby." Thus, one of them is her birth mother; the other an adoptive parent. Still, Molly leaves her drawing home the next day. With further matter-of-fact reassurance by her teacher and the budding understanding that all families are different, Molly, and indeed the whole class, grows to accept her own family, and she proudly hangs her picture on the wall. While the children in the story are not shy about expressing their feelings, the author diffuses any tension by remaining focused on logic: Molly's family is as she claims. By tying this specific household to the general diversity within all families, Garden manages to celebrate them all. The soft colored-pencil drawings with their many realistic details depict a room full of active kindergartners. There is a squat sweetness to the characters as they work together to make everything look and feel right.
ABC A Family Alphabet Book by Bobbie Combs (Author), Desiree Keane (Illustrator), Brian Rappa (Illustrator)
It's family fun from A to Z in this alphabet book that shows kids and their parents laughing, playing and enjoying family life. All of the brilliant watercolors depict families headed by gays and lesbians. "C is for cookies. Both of my dads know how to make great chocolate chip cookies." "L is for lunch. We always pack a picnic lunch when my moms take me to the beach."
It's Okay to Be Different by Todd Parr (Author)
For anyone who ever doubted it, Todd Parr is here to tell us all that it's okay to be different. With his signature artistic style, featuring brightly colored, childlike figures outlined in heavy black, Parr shows readers over and over that just about anything goes. From the sensitive ("It's okay to be adopted"--the accompanying illustration shows a kangaroo with a puppy in her pouch) to the downright silly ("It's okay to eat macaroni and cheese in the bathtub"), kids of every shape, size, color, family makeup, and background will feel included in this gentle, witty book. In this simple, playful celebration of diversity, Parr doesn't need to hammer readers over the head with his message.
Families by Susan Kuklin (Illustrator)
Kindergarten-Grade 4–This book consists of interviews with the children from 15 different families, including mixed-race, immigrant, gay, lesbian, and divorced, as well as single parents and families for whom religion is a focal point. The children may be adopted, have special needs, be only children or have multiple siblings, and, of course, the characteristics frequently overlap. The interviews focus on the youngsters' feelings about being part of their family: adults do not interfere. The voices are natural, and the children come across as individuals, not just representative of a particular lifestyle or ethnic group. According to an author's note, Kuklin allowed her subjects to choose how they would be photographed, including the clothing worn and what family mementos would be shown. Working with those constraints, Kuklin has composed sharp and vibrant photos that capture the essence of each of them. This book will be both attractive to browsers and an excellent impetus for discussing relationships and diversity in America.
The Different Dragon by Jennifer Bryan (Author), Danamarie Hosler (Illustrator)
This bedtime story about bedtime stories shows how the wonderful care and curiosity of a little boy, with some help from his willing moms, can lead to magical and unexpected places. Join Noah and his cat, Diva, on this nighttime adventure and you too will leave with an unforgettable new dragon friend!
Flying Free
A picture book for children of LGBT and diverse families. Flying Free is narrated by a firefly captured by a five-year-old girl named Violet. Violet plans to use the firefly as her very own nightlight. Her mommies, Mommy Blue and Mama Red, go along with the idea, but the firefly refuses to live in a glass jar. After several attempts, the firefly devises the ultimate escape plan. . .what will her fate be? Flying Free is suitable for children age 2-6.
Felicia's Favorite Story by Leslea Newman (Author), Adriana Romo (Illustrator)
PreSchool-Grade 1-In a story set in a loving family with two women as parents, a little girl asks for her favorite bedtime story-the tale of how she became part of the family. As Felicia asks questions and fills in the blanks, her mothers playfully relate the tale of their decision to share their love by bringing her into their lives. The gentle, rhythmic text perfectly mirrors the give-and-take that occurs with preschoolers when parents extend the story: Did they decide to adopt a giraffe, a mouse, or a baby? Did they take a boat or a car to Guatemala to pick her up? Was she as small as a button or a cookie when she was a baby? In the cozy conclusion to her own story and the book itself, Felicia's moms tell her that her name means "happy" in Spanish-a feeling shared by all. Each piece of art is framed by a stylistic geometric border reminiscent of stained glass. The smiling child and parents are drawn in a somewhat static style that is softened by the use of pastel colored pencils. This is a comforting book for children in alternative families as well as a pleasant tale for all children who rejoice in sharing their own life story.
Mom And Mum Are Getting Married by Ken Setterington (Author), Alice Priestly (Illustrator)
Kindergarten-Grade 3–Rosie's two mothers are going to get married. When Mom tells her daughter about their plans, the youngster asks if she can be a bridesmaid or a flower girl, but Mom just wants a small celebration. Rosie offers another option–she and her brother, Jack, will carry the rings. Predictably, when the big day arrives, the rings are temporarily misplaced (by the couple). Rosie comes up with a solution to prevent them from getting lost a second time, and the wedding comes off without a hitch. "A perfect day," says Mum. The ink-and-colored pencil drawings are somewhat flat but colorful. While the story is slight and not particularly engaging, libraries needing to augment their collections on gay lifestyles may want to consider it.–
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Lobbying for same-sex marriage
For the past few years the state of MD has been involved in a court case in which 9 couples sued the government for the right to marry. It took years, went through the various levels of court, and was finally decided a few months a go by one vote in the state supreme court that same-sex couples do not have a constitutional right to marry.
In response this year a bill has been introduced that would make same sex marriage legal. We went down with some members of our church to a large statewide rally in front of the capital building last night, and then met with our state senator and two of our three delegates. We are very lucky to live where we do. All of our delegates and our senator sponsor the bill. The lead sponsor in the senate is our senator Jamie Raskin and he is very outspoken on this issue. We basically went to thank them for their support. Friends of ours in more conservative counties didn't have it as easy. Our friends A and C, C who is big and pregnant, went into a few sessions with people that said, basically, to a pregnant woman, I'm sorry, I don't support you and your family. That sucks. So we're thankful for where we live, and for the people who represent us. And we're thankful for the people that lobby with delegates that are unfriendly.
According to our delegates and senator, we are close to being able to get this passed, at least as civil unions. I'd take civil unions. Hell, I'd take anything, which is more than what I've got now. But I don't have my hopes up. I let myself get too hopeful with the court case, and that just led to depression. So for now I'm just watching and hoping C and her big belly made an impact on someone important last night.
In response this year a bill has been introduced that would make same sex marriage legal. We went down with some members of our church to a large statewide rally in front of the capital building last night, and then met with our state senator and two of our three delegates. We are very lucky to live where we do. All of our delegates and our senator sponsor the bill. The lead sponsor in the senate is our senator Jamie Raskin and he is very outspoken on this issue. We basically went to thank them for their support. Friends of ours in more conservative counties didn't have it as easy. Our friends A and C, C who is big and pregnant, went into a few sessions with people that said, basically, to a pregnant woman, I'm sorry, I don't support you and your family. That sucks. So we're thankful for where we live, and for the people who represent us. And we're thankful for the people that lobby with delegates that are unfriendly.
According to our delegates and senator, we are close to being able to get this passed, at least as civil unions. I'd take civil unions. Hell, I'd take anything, which is more than what I've got now. But I don't have my hopes up. I let myself get too hopeful with the court case, and that just led to depression. So for now I'm just watching and hoping C and her big belly made an impact on someone important last night.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Juno
A few weeks ago we saw the movie Juno. Great movie, as everyone else has already said. I love Michael Cera. Afterwards, one of the friends we saw it with asked if movies about pregnancy seemed different now that I want to get pregnant. I said that no, teenage pregnancy had nothing to do with my life, so I didn't feel much. At least not now. Maybe that would be different if I was actually pregnant.
However, I do find myself gravitating to movies about pregnancy now more than I used to. Like Netflix recommended to me The Business of Being Born, crazily because I said that I liked the movie Cry Baby. That was a great movie. The scenes where Ricki Lake drank Johnny Depp's tears and where she licks the glass that separates them in prison stuck themselves forever in my 12-year-old mind. But somehow I think the audience for Cry Baby and The Business of Being Born are different. Maybe not. Maybe we've grown up and so has Ricki Lake. Anyway, I don't think this would have interested me previously, but now it's near the top of my queue. I also added some movies that I saw in friends' queues - Making Grace and Casa de los Babys. And if something else comes along, I'll probably add that too.
It's like when we were planning our wedding. I started watching all of those cheesy wedding planning shows on the Style network, and tearing up sometimes. Thank god for Logo and that short lived wedding show with Scott Thompson (my favorite Kid in the Hall), and for Bravo and the Gay Weddings series. After our wedding, those Style network shows had little appeal. But you get caught up. At least I do. K never found those shows interesting. I'm sure if we had cable now, I'd be watching Baby Stories on Discovery Health. I tried watching Notes from the Underbelly the other night. That show is horrible. That's what the insult "Television writing" means.
However, I do find myself gravitating to movies about pregnancy now more than I used to. Like Netflix recommended to me The Business of Being Born, crazily because I said that I liked the movie Cry Baby. That was a great movie. The scenes where Ricki Lake drank Johnny Depp's tears and where she licks the glass that separates them in prison stuck themselves forever in my 12-year-old mind. But somehow I think the audience for Cry Baby and The Business of Being Born are different. Maybe not. Maybe we've grown up and so has Ricki Lake. Anyway, I don't think this would have interested me previously, but now it's near the top of my queue. I also added some movies that I saw in friends' queues - Making Grace and Casa de los Babys. And if something else comes along, I'll probably add that too.
It's like when we were planning our wedding. I started watching all of those cheesy wedding planning shows on the Style network, and tearing up sometimes. Thank god for Logo and that short lived wedding show with Scott Thompson (my favorite Kid in the Hall), and for Bravo and the Gay Weddings series. After our wedding, those Style network shows had little appeal. But you get caught up. At least I do. K never found those shows interesting. I'm sure if we had cable now, I'd be watching Baby Stories on Discovery Health. I tried watching Notes from the Underbelly the other night. That show is horrible. That's what the insult "Television writing" means.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry
When I first heard about that movie, I wrote it off as a stupid Adam Sandler movie mocking gay men. But this weekend my dad said that's the movie they have waiting for them at home from Netflix. Interesting that they can still laugh at gay people and be mad at me at the same time. Doesn't it hurt to laugh? I don't understand. Anyway, I wonder what message they will get from this film. I know that it is about domestic partnership and attempts social commentary about same-sex marriage. Maybe this crude, offensive humor is the only way to get the message off to people like my dad. Or maybe not, and it really is just crude and offensive.
I know my dad's politics are shifting liberal. He has made lots of comments about Bush and the war and economy and said that things were better when Clinton was president. My mom always looks angry, like she'd like to defend Bush but she's just a woman who doesn't like conflict so all she can do is scowl. But really, it doesn't matter because they don't vote, they just complain.
I know my dad's politics are shifting liberal. He has made lots of comments about Bush and the war and economy and said that things were better when Clinton was president. My mom always looks angry, like she'd like to defend Bush but she's just a woman who doesn't like conflict so all she can do is scowl. But really, it doesn't matter because they don't vote, they just complain.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Same-sex Unions in MD
A new survey finds that the majority of Marylanders support marraige or civil unions for same-sex couples, according to an article in the Baltimore Sun. Yay for Maryland - let's make this happen before we expand our family.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Family
My family is totally fucked up. My parents are small town and so white and Baptist and conservative and hunters/fishers and scared, so scared. We are big city, interracial, Unitarian Universalists with eastern religious influences, a same-sex couple, vegetarian - so everything that they are afraid of. We push them so far out of their comfort zone, and as they get older, all they want is to be comfortable.
They've came to visit us only once since college. When we bought our home almost a year ago, I put them on the spot and said "When will you come to see my new home?" They finally agreed to come this coming weekend. They've bought the plane tickets and arranged to leave work and everything. I was talking to my mom on Sunday to finalize the details and mentioned to her that we don't wear shoes in our home because of Indian tradition. She said okay and seemed fine. Then on Monday I got this email:
We have a problem with our visit. I talked to Dad about our conversation last night.
He doesn't like your no shoes rule. He doesn't want to worship Indian cultures.
You either have to accept us as us or not. We're not veggatarians, we're not Indian etc.
We are what we are, and always will be, and we like it. We are you parents and you invited us to visit, knowing what we are. If you're ok with this and you want us to visit, wonderful, nothing else said, if not, call Dad's cell phone and let him know what you want him to do.
Mom
Crazy, right? This is obviously about so much more than shoes. It's like shoes are the only thing they can fight back about.
I keep thinking things will be better between us when we have children, because my parents love babies. But I don't know. How will they handle their little brown grandchild?
They've came to visit us only once since college. When we bought our home almost a year ago, I put them on the spot and said "When will you come to see my new home?" They finally agreed to come this coming weekend. They've bought the plane tickets and arranged to leave work and everything. I was talking to my mom on Sunday to finalize the details and mentioned to her that we don't wear shoes in our home because of Indian tradition. She said okay and seemed fine. Then on Monday I got this email:
We have a problem with our visit. I talked to Dad about our conversation last night.
He doesn't like your no shoes rule. He doesn't want to worship Indian cultures.
You either have to accept us as us or not. We're not veggatarians, we're not Indian etc.
We are what we are, and always will be, and we like it. We are you parents and you invited us to visit, knowing what we are. If you're ok with this and you want us to visit, wonderful, nothing else said, if not, call Dad's cell phone and let him know what you want him to do.
Mom
Crazy, right? This is obviously about so much more than shoes. It's like shoes are the only thing they can fight back about.
I keep thinking things will be better between us when we have children, because my parents love babies. But I don't know. How will they handle their little brown grandchild?
Friday, January 11, 2008
Adopting
We're faced with two options. Go through all of this to try to get pregnant on our own, or adopt. K and I talked about it last night, and we just feel adoption is not an option. We'd love to adopt a baby from India or Guyana, but most countries have laws against same-sex couples adopting babies. So we'd have to go back in the closet and hide our relationship. After all of these years, I don't even know how we'd do that. How do you hide that your life is completely entangled with someone elses? Also, we heard that judges are starting to deny second parent adoptions for these couples that lied to the international agencies.
We talked to a couple who adopted from India. They were assigned a baby when she was 3 months old, and when we spoke to them, the baby was over two and still living in an orphanage in India. They were approved for the adoption, but the Indian government kept dragging their feet. I can't imagine the torture of knowing your baby is out there but you can't have her.
There's always domestic adoption, but we've always heard that while adoption agencies say they are willing to allow same-sex couples to adopt, they secretly have a preference for hetero couples. So we would be a last resort. I don't want to be treated like that. That's why we left the south. We try to avoid situations where we aren't respected because it just doesn't feel good. I don't have the strength to put up with that kind of rejection, of being told our family is okay, but not as good as this nice family over here with a mom and a dad.
So we feel like this is our only option. And it's okay because we like it this way. I want to be pregnant, and K wants me to be pregnant. So let's just hope it works.
We talked to a couple who adopted from India. They were assigned a baby when she was 3 months old, and when we spoke to them, the baby was over two and still living in an orphanage in India. They were approved for the adoption, but the Indian government kept dragging their feet. I can't imagine the torture of knowing your baby is out there but you can't have her.
There's always domestic adoption, but we've always heard that while adoption agencies say they are willing to allow same-sex couples to adopt, they secretly have a preference for hetero couples. So we would be a last resort. I don't want to be treated like that. That's why we left the south. We try to avoid situations where we aren't respected because it just doesn't feel good. I don't have the strength to put up with that kind of rejection, of being told our family is okay, but not as good as this nice family over here with a mom and a dad.
So we feel like this is our only option. And it's okay because we like it this way. I want to be pregnant, and K wants me to be pregnant. So let's just hope it works.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Thankful to be a woman
It's hard to get pregnant if you are two women. We need the sperm, and usually getting pregnant requires some medical intervention. I've heard of women who spend thousands of dollars trying to get pregnant. But with all of that, I'd still say we have it easy.
I have a friend who is a single male. He wants to be a father. His only options are surrogacy or adoption. He's been told by many people that he won't be able to adopt. A single man on his own will be seen as having impure thoughts about children. So he feels that surrogacy is his only option. This costs around $70-120K by the time you buy the egg, hire the surrogate, pay the lawyers. And it's much more risky legally, and illegal in some states.
So we women are lucky. All we need is the sperm. Men need the womb, which is much harder to get. Count your many blessings, as I used to sing as a little girl in church.
I have a friend who is a single male. He wants to be a father. His only options are surrogacy or adoption. He's been told by many people that he won't be able to adopt. A single man on his own will be seen as having impure thoughts about children. So he feels that surrogacy is his only option. This costs around $70-120K by the time you buy the egg, hire the surrogate, pay the lawyers. And it's much more risky legally, and illegal in some states.
So we women are lucky. All we need is the sperm. Men need the womb, which is much harder to get. Count your many blessings, as I used to sing as a little girl in church.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Normalcy
Last night I spoke to our good friend A. She said that her mom was asking when we were going to have children. It's so nice when people think of us as a normal couple, with the same expectations they would have of an opposite-sex couple.
Sunday, January 6, 2008
Medical Problems?
We received a package of forms from Columbia Fertility to bring with us to our appointment. It asks about all of the medical problems I have and why I might be infertile. I don't have any medical problems, I just need someone to stick some sperm up inside me!
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