tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-50202554554963180592024-03-14T02:30:26.609-07:00Two Moms Make a BabyOnto baby #2JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.comBlogger306125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-78749278681208378302010-06-28T12:49:00.000-07:002010-06-28T13:09:35.472-07:00Hot date<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/TCkBcLtjnfI/AAAAAAAAAbM/ra4_-vsqFr4/s1600/tempeh-reuben_450.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 221px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/TCkBcLtjnfI/AAAAAAAAAbM/ra4_-vsqFr4/s320/tempeh-reuben_450.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487919204619492850" border="0" /></a>Yesterday we had a lunch date. A friend had given us a gift card for a meal and an offering of babysitting back in March. We finally took her up on it. Yesterday we counted the number of time's D has been baby sat. 14 times in 13 months. We clearly need to work on that since some of those were "Please babysit while I work" or "Please babysit because I have the stomach flu" and not enough of them were please babysit while I enjoy a nice quiet time with my wife. It's great to share a meal without having to make sure that 1) D is happy and not screaming, 2) D is eating, 3) D is not making too big of a mess. We just relaxed and talked to each other and enjoyed our good food.<br /><br />We went to <a href="http://www.greatsage.com/">Great Sage Restaurant</a>, a vegan restaurant with an interesting brunch menu. Since we had a big gift card, we splurged on a Reuben made of tempeh, Huevos Rancheros made of tofu, and for dessert, walnut praline pancakes. Yum!JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-76703615484353830762010-06-28T12:42:00.000-07:002010-06-28T13:12:44.737-07:00Exploding in skills<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/TCkCMpDVgCI/AAAAAAAAAbU/_UTjDh5Tu2o/s1600/DSC02355.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/TCkCMpDVgCI/AAAAAAAAAbU/_UTjDh5Tu2o/s320/DSC02355.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5487920037129191458" border="0" /></a>My baby girl is exploding in skills. It's amazing what happens at one year!<br /><br /><ul><li>She's talking - each day a new word. Recently added words include all done, water, night night, up, doggie, Angel (our dog's name), apple, hi, duck, ball. By recently I mean in the last five days! </li><li>She's signing - in the past two weeks she's learned the signs for all done, milk, and please.</li><li>She's building with legos and blocks when before she just knocked things down.<br /></li><li>She's mimicking everything we do.</li><li>She played peek-a-boo to entertain a five-month old baby!</li><li>She's learning to eat with a spoon and does a decent (though still quite messy) job of it.<br /></li><li>She'll walk any day. Right now she just needs to hold on with one hand and she can walk for a long time.<br /></li></ul>I'm beaming with pride. Yesterday when she held up her hands and so clearly said 'Up' and I almost cried. I did cry a little when she said 'duck'. I wasn't prepared for her to learn everything in two weeks. I thought there would be more build up. It's amazing!JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-72792675026465804862010-06-28T06:16:00.001-07:002010-06-28T13:13:39.599-07:00Back to the REOn Friday we went back to the RE for the first time since I was six weeks pregnant. She was very happy to see us and wanted to see baby pictures. Of course she said D was gorgeous. Her first question was 'Are you still breastfeeding?' I told her I was weaning and should be done by August. She said 'Okay, that's when we'll start.' Definitely got me motivated to wean.<br /><br />Next cycle we will do an <a href="http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/hysterosalpingogram-21590">HSG x-ray</a> to see if any tubes are blocked from scar tissue from my c-section, which happens maybe 20% of the time. If no tubes are blocked, then she doesn't see any reason that I will have difficulty getting pregnant. If tubes are blocked, well, then, we'll go from there.<br /><br />Very good visit and now we are starting again!JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-17385351633002925272010-06-28T06:12:00.001-07:002010-06-28T06:16:06.689-07:00Weaning progressThis weekend I worked on eliminating the afternoon nursing session and it went pretty well. When she would ask to nurse I would offer her a sippy cup or some food and she happily took it, even while sitting in my lap. It seems she didn't want to nurse, she was just hungry. My breast were pretty full and in pain by Sunday morning but we worked through it and this morning I was less full. My body is adjusting. Next weekend we will work on eliminating the before nap nursing. I'm guessing that one will be more difficult.<br /><br />This is my last week to pump at work. Just once per day to ease my body off of it. I've been doing this for a year. I don't even know what to do with all of this extra time now that I'm not pumping 4 times a day! Maybe that's why I'm blogging again.JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-7890556889599219412010-06-21T12:51:00.000-07:002010-06-21T12:58:23.662-07:00Lost memoriesWe went to FL to visit family for our daughter's first birthday. We visited my family first and then K's family (about 2.5 hours apart). Somewhere along the way our memory card got corrupted and we lost all the pictures from K's family, but somehow retained all of the pictures from my family. This is so sad. This was D's first time to meet her grandfather, she spent time with her grandma, aunt, older cousins, went to the beach, ate birthday cake. All of it is gone. We sent the card away for recovery and they were unable to recover it. We are going to try one more company but the chances are slim given the history so far. K's aunt took some pictures so we're going to try to get copies of those, but much of it will likely be lost. Very sad.JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-59506540534288186942010-06-21T12:20:00.000-07:002010-06-21T12:38:47.179-07:00Closing the B&BWe have a two bedroom condo. Space is tight but we're committed to making it work because we love the location. It's been working for us okay until recently when our toddler's toys got larger and larger (table & chairs, rocking horse, piano, walker, ride on car, play table). We've become over run with toys, and our toddler is running us over with toys, and our home is feeling smaller and smaller.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/TB--3ot9juI/AAAAAAAAAa8/bdC5Hg6ciuc/s1600/51LJtQQF3eL._SS400_.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/TB--3ot9juI/AAAAAAAAAa8/bdC5Hg6ciuc/s320/51LJtQQF3eL._SS400_.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5485312734192832226" border="0" /></a><br />We have a futon in our toddler's room. It's an old futon and it was our bed for a year early in our relationship nine years ago when we were in grad school until we saved up enough money for a real bed. We keep it for company, which we've had a ton of in the past year since D was born - K's mom (3 times), D's godmother A (2 times), my parents (2 times), K's aunt and three teenage cousins, my sister & family, our friends from NY, maybe others I'm forgetting. We've been a revolving B&B (literally - I usually make breakfast for guests), and it's been awesome seeing everyone. If you want to see your family and friends, have a baby. But that seems to be tapering off. Last week A left and we don't have any plans for anyone to visit. My sister is coming in July but she's staying in a hotel (her husband thinks our home is too crowded for their family of four and he's probably right). K's mom is coming in the fall but nothing specific.<br /><br />So we're closing the B&B. We're getting rid of the futon. We're moving D's big toys into her bedroom. D's room will be used for more than just sleeping and changing. We're reclaiming our living space. We're going to be able to breathe again.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/TB--4aYTJsI/AAAAAAAAAbE/QPhWibW1H_c/s1600/hondafit1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 202px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/TB--4aYTJsI/AAAAAAAAAbE/QPhWibW1H_c/s320/hondafit1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5485312747523745474" border="0" /></a><br />But first we have to figure out how to get rid of the futon. Not in our small Honda Fit. Freecycle, anyone?JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-6449074832178557002010-06-21T09:07:00.000-07:002010-06-21T10:02:01.517-07:00I'm backI'm back to blogging because I'm back at trying to conceive. Our first born is one and fabulous and makes us happy every day. And now we want to try to for number two. Trying to conceive makes me want to blog because I can't talk about it. We're not telling many that we are trying and once we get pregnant (fingers crossed) we won't be telling people for a while. And there are a lot of emotions/feelings around it, so I'm going to use this space to write them down. I don't know if there are any readers out there anymore. Maybe somebody who forgot remove me from their google reader will see this message and maybe even care what I have to say. Here are some thoughts I have roaming around my head. <br /><br />1. I can't believe we are really starting this. There was this feeling of accomplishment after getting pregnant last night that was like 'oh, it's done. we won't have to do that again.' Last time there was such a build up, where I tracked my temperature and peed on sticks for months. This time it's like, oh, we're going to get started soon. I wonder if I even ovulate. The goal is to start trying late August/September. I tried peeing on sticks last month but we were on vacation and I could never get it right. So I'm trying again. I'm on day 12. No positive yet, but I would expect it in a couple of days based on my old cycle. I'm not taking my temperature since that just caused more stress than it provided information. <br /><br />2. We have an appointment with our Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE) this Friday. We haven't seen her since I was 6 weeks pregnant. I have a midwife appointment a few weeks later. I haven't seen them since my 6 week follow-up. This makes it seem really real.<br /><br />3. We had always planned to wait a year and then start trying again. For the first 8-9 months this really scared me. I couldn't imagine being pregnant and caring for an infant. But then my baby got older and started sleeping through the night and things got easier. And I would see pregnant women and think "Wouldn't that be nice?" And these feelings really surprised me. I started longing to be pregnant again! And then two weeks ago our friends gave birth to a baby boy. And the mother started asking questions about her negative feelings about the baby and about lack of sleep and constant breastfeeding and I got a little scared again. But at least now I know that it really does get better, but wow, that's going to be hard.<br /><br />4. I'm trying to wean baby #1 so that I can get pregnant easier. I feel that I've already got a hard time getting pregnant given that I'm using frozen sperm so I had better do everything I can to increase my chances. So far I'm reducing the amount of breast milk sent to daycare (supplementing with whole milk) and decreasing my pumping sessions at work. By the end of next week I should be done with pumping. Then we just need to deal with the home front. How do you put a baby to sleep without milk? Don't know, I've never tried it. I know it will be hard for a few weeks (we went through night weaning at about 9-10 months so we have an idea) but she'll get over it. I'm just dreading trying. I'm not as in love with nursing as a lot of people I know but there will be things I will miss. I won't miss pumping, or feeding in public, or stopping everything to feed her. I will miss waking up in the morning and bringing her to our bed and the three of us laying together while she nurses. This is my favorite part of the day. I will miss the cuddles because in general she's not very cuddly. She's too busy on the go. It's been a good/hard almost thirteen months of breastfeeding and it's time to move on.<br /><br />5. Not on the baby making front, I'm in love with my one year old. She turned one just a few weeks ago. She's almost walking, she saying a few words, does a few signs. She's really developing a sense of humor. She's adventurous. She's my doll (as my grandpa used to call me). Here are a couple of recent pictures.<br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/TB-acjTuiAI/AAAAAAAAAa0/aoU6wloy8VQ/s1600/DSC02432.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/TB-acjTuiAI/AAAAAAAAAa0/aoU6wloy8VQ/s320/DSC02432.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5485272686465550338" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/TB-acL7dTjI/AAAAAAAAAas/3WAaSu1rD-U/s1600/DSC02470.JPG"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/TB-acL7dTjI/AAAAAAAAAas/3WAaSu1rD-U/s320/DSC02470.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5485272680189742642" border="0" /></a>JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-475992118230681552010-01-14T08:48:00.000-08:002010-01-14T09:04:04.136-08:00Loose EndsI haven't posted since June. My 7 month old baby is beautiful, well, and my sweet joy. There are so many things that I could post about, things I've thought about posting about, such as: postpartum depression (not full blown, but it was definitely something in the first couple of months), breastfeeding and lack of sleep in the first couple of months (and how this causes depression), acid reflux and trips to the hospital with a four week old baby, asthma, going back to work (the mixed feelings, the tears, the relief of having something to do each day), daycare (good day cares, bad day cares (really bad day cares), the trouble with finding a daycare), house guest after house guest, multiple long term visits from my mother-in-law, money woes, planning for #2, vacationing with a baby, solid foods, colds, sharing a room with the baby (and when it's time to stop), people's opinions (how they want to give them all of the time, and what they say when you don't agree), gallstone surgery & the stomach flu, the best Christmas of my life, trying to feed a very hungry six month old baby with a growing appetite and a depleting milk supply, decisions about shots, transitions to solids (the fun & joy, the new fears), the pressures of keeping up my milk supply while knowing I'm the only one that can, how wonderful baby smiles are, the beautiful sound of a baby laughing, who's the mom questions, the filthy state of our home, the lack of attention our dog gets, space issues with our tiny condo, a baby who probably won't crawl because she hates spending time on her tummy, how much fun it is now that she's aware and interactive and plays games and makes noises and expresses her opinion, how she looks at K and starts laughing right away (K's much funnier than I am), how she reaches for me (and me only) whenever she is upset and to put her back to sleep at night, how it's 7 months and she still wakes up 3 times a night to eat (and she's in the 75th percentile for height and weight), and many, many other things that we've experienced in the past 7 months. But sadly I don't think I will. I think my time with this blog has come to an end, which you probably guessed with my lack of posting. Thanks for being a part of my life for the past few years. Signing off.JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-5219817772144165752009-06-19T11:39:00.000-07:002009-06-19T12:06:39.039-07:00StuffI'm not online typing with two hands often, but since I am today, here's a post with lots of stuff in it. D is three weeks and 1 day and sleeping soundly in the swing.<br /><br />SLEEP: Sleep is very important for daily functioning. I'm not getting enough. Since K went back to work after two weeks and that means that I get night duty all by myself. Before she went to work, I fed the baby, she burped the baby. Now I do it all. She wakes up around 12am, 3am, 4am, 5am, 7am. I'm awake for about an hour each time. It's not enough sleep. The general rule is sleep when the baby sleeps, but I can't seem to sleep unless someone else is home. I try to nap during the day, but I can't let myself fall asleep. On the weekends when K is home I get great naps, but not during the week. On Wed I sobbed when K got home. Last night I cried as I was doing the final breastfeeding before going to sleep (10pm). I was thinking about the night ahead and crying because I knew I wouldn't get enough sleep. I need to figure out how to get more sleep - this is not sustainable. But thankfully weekend is here and that means K gets night duties and I get to nap during the day.<br /><br />2ND PARENT ADOPTION: We had everything we could set up before giving birth. On June 8 we submitted the final paperwork to our lawyer (notification of live birth, pediatrician letter, family photos) and signed all documents. Everything was submitted. It's possible we will have our adoption by the end of June if there are openings, but if not, then by the end July (they only do adoptions once per month). Our baby will be adopted by K before her 2nd month is complete. We really do have the best lawyer ever, and luckily for us she's only 2 blocks from our home.<br /><br />SWING: We were given a hand-me-down swing on Tuesday night by someone from our church who we don't even know. She has a 6 month old and has promised to give us stuff as he outgrows it. She also gave us clothes, a my breast friend pillow, an activity play mat, breast milk storage backs. But the thing that we are getting the most use out of is the swing. I put her in it and she falls fast asleep. I'm eating breakfast without having to hold a baby, and now I'm using the computer. It's amazing. We had another swing but she likes this one much better. It's the Fisher Price Aquarium Swing and it's awesome.<br /><br />FATHER'S DAY: We are spending Sunday with L, D's godfather. He'll get to celebrate Father's Day from now on.<br /><br />GALL BLADDER: I've scheduled my surgery for July 22, when D is 8 weeks old. The midwife said I should wait at least 8 weeks, preferably longer, but I needed to do it before I went back to work at 12 weeks. But the surgeon is going on vacation so I had to do it at 8 weeks. <br /><br />SPITTING UP: D spits up constantly. We are all covered in it. Night time is hard because we have to sit up with her 15-30 minutes after each feeding so she doesn't throw up in her sleep and choke on it. The pediatrician thinks I make a lot of milk and she drinks too much of it and spits it up because her stomach is too full. It's probably not reflux because she is gaining lots of weight. This frustrates me more than anything else about parenting. I feel like I try and try and burp and burp and then she spits up. <br /><br />GREEN POOP: A week or so ago she had some green poop. This could be a food allergy or a hind milk/fore milk imbalance. So I'm off dairy as a test, which is really hard. We eat a lot of cheese, and we've been given two quiches and a lasagna, which K now has to eat and I still have to make myself dinner. Also, I'm trying to get her to eat the same breast more often before switching, which makes the other breast painful. Hopefully it's the foremilk/hindmilk thing and I can get back on dairy.<br /><br />ALERT: She's super alert. The pediatrician said today that she is more alert than most babies her age. Also she's smiling. I think it's because she was born late and thus more developed than other babies. <br /><br />I hear stirring. Time to hold the baby again.JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-67189892910790665852009-06-16T13:15:00.000-07:002009-06-16T13:16:18.816-07:00Stealing the BoppyOur doggy steals the Boppy everytime we leave it behind.<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/Sjf9fIhJmXI/AAAAAAAAAac/MLk1RWusH8k/s1600-h/P1010536.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/Sjf9fIhJmXI/AAAAAAAAAac/MLk1RWusH8k/s320/P1010536.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348021793830050162" /></a>JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-90455481040542579882009-06-16T13:11:00.000-07:002009-06-16T13:14:51.747-07:00Awesome baby gift<div>My aunt made this awesome play mat. It arrived not long after the baby was born. It folds up and has handles and the toys are attached. It's definitely one of our favorite baby gifts.</div><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/Sjf9JLzMSRI/AAAAAAAAAaU/4JSBF0EVQ6c/s1600-h/P1010499.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348021416753907986" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/Sjf9JLzMSRI/AAAAAAAAAaU/4JSBF0EVQ6c/s320/P1010499.JPG" border="0" /></a>JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-32077122772122231292009-06-16T13:08:00.000-07:002009-06-16T13:11:01.772-07:00One rule - Don't lick the baby!We want our dog to like our baby, so we don't want to constantly keep them apart or yell at the dog all of the time. But we do have one rule - don't lick the baby. This is a constant struggle. Our dog is always executing sneak attacks. She particularly likes the feet.<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/Sjf8MELBRWI/AAAAAAAAAaM/FDrmgdWWuxQ/s1600-h/P1010468.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348020366734345570" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/Sjf8MELBRWI/AAAAAAAAAaM/FDrmgdWWuxQ/s320/P1010468.JPG" border="0" /></a>JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-68585434096720209672009-06-16T12:59:00.000-07:002009-06-16T13:05:04.530-07:00Baby braceletOn one of our many walks as we waited to go into labor, we went on a search for a baby bracelet, a tradition for all Indian babies. Excited after D was born, we tried to put it on her, but she's not quite ready for it yet...<br /><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/Sjf6T_CeCjI/AAAAAAAAAaE/rqwPTpuUcsI/s1600-h/P1010404.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348018303772002866" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/Sjf6T_CeCjI/AAAAAAAAAaE/rqwPTpuUcsI/s320/P1010404.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/Sjf6Tp6s_aI/AAAAAAAAAZ8/hgGqsDplDkc/s1600-h/P1010403.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348018298102283682" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/Sjf6Tp6s_aI/AAAAAAAAAZ8/hgGqsDplDkc/s320/P1010403.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><div></div><br /><p><br /> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Also shown - at our baby shower the kids decorated newborn onesies which have been really useful and fun though sadly she's outgrown them now. </p>JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-20223208345282114282009-06-16T12:58:00.001-07:002009-06-16T12:59:33.597-07:00Stinky<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/Sjf5mBhQh6I/AAAAAAAAAZ0/bD0drg5SF7I/s1600-h/P1010380.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5348017514164029346" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 320px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 240px" alt="" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_fEQb6SfaY10/Sjf5mBhQh6I/AAAAAAAAAZ0/bD0drg5SF7I/s320/P1010380.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Our dog lets us know when to change diapers...</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-59710760244055415072009-06-16T12:16:00.000-07:002009-06-16T16:49:13.732-07:00Birth StoryHere's the long and detailed birth story. Enjoy.<br /><br />Birth Story of D<br />May 28, 2009<br />12:09am<br />7lbs 3oz.<br />20.5 in.<br /><br />J: On May 26, we were 41 weeks pregnant. We had a midwife appointment at 8:15am to monitor D’s progress. This was the Tuesday following Memorial Day and we both really did not want to have to return to work after the long weekend. On the way to the appointment, I admitted my secret daydream that we would arrive to the appointment and they would say “This is it, you’re having this baby today. Head to the hospital.” <br /><br />At the appointment, a vaginal exam found that I was 50% effaced and not dilated at all. The midwife C set up the Non-stress test to monitor the baby. One monitor measured contractions while the other measured the baby’s heartbeat. After 20 minutes of monitoring, C saw that the heart rate was decreasing at the start of every contraction. This was concerning, so she told us to head to the hospital for more monitoring. She said there was a 50-50 chance for inducing the baby that day. We were very excited and hopeful in the car.<br /><br />Midwife S met us at the hospital, where we did another Non-stress test, this time for about 2 hours, and also a biophysical profile (an ultrasound). The Non-stress test found similar results and the biophysical profile found that the amniotic fluid was low. Both of these together concerned S enough that she thought we should go ahead and induce. She said “You’re going to have a baby!” and gave me a big hug. S is kind of sweet and grandmotherly and has the most experience out of the three midwives (25+ years). Then we checked into the hospital for the night. <br /><br />Hospitals are a little weird about food and labor. Because there was a possibility for induction that day, the nurses would not allow me to eat any food. I ate breakfast before the midwife appointment and did not eat for the rest of the day. I kept asking for lunch at the hospital and the nurses would say “let’s wait for the results of your tests.” I was starving! When S said they were going to induce, I asked “Can I eat something?” S said “Yes, you need to eat. But don’t let the nurses see you.” Then she told K to sneak out and buy me some food and sneak it in. Thank god for midwives! K brought a Burrito Bowl from <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Chipotle</span> and I scarfed it down in minutes, shoving it in before the nurses saw. Later that night S and C directed the hospital staff to allow me to eat and I was served dinner and breakfast the next day.<br /><br />We started slow with the induction. Because I was not dilated, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Cervadal</span> was applied to my cervix at 5pm to work on starting dilation over night. The drug lasts for 12 hours. I was hooked up to fetal monitoring and ordered to lay on my side to measure the heartbeat for the rest of the night. I was given <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Ambian</span> to sleep about 10pm because the midwife wanted to be sure I was well rested as tomorrow would be an exhausting day. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Ambian</span> was a first for me and I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">didn</span>’t react well to it. I took the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">meds</span> and then went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed, but while standing in there, I got hit by a sudden wave of exhaustion and emotions. I said “I think I need to lie down right now.” Then I got into bed and starting sobbing. K asked why and I sobbed “I don’t know!” I felt like I was on a boat in constant motion.<br /><br />K: The nurses came in and acknowledged that what J was feeling was definitely normal for <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Ambian</span>. One nurse did say that given her height and weight, she probably should have been given a lower dose, but it was within range. After about a hour J did finally fall asleep, but she woke up during the night off and on. She got sleep, but it certainly <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">wasn</span>’t as restful as it could have been. I slept on a bench in the labor room. Because J was constantly being monitored, occasionally an alarm would sound that we figured meant something was abnormal about either the baby’s heartbeat or the contraction. The really annoying thing is that the alarm would go off forever unless you call the nurse to turn if off. After number 3 I got so annoyed I yelled into the intercom something not so nice. Before all this, J spoke to midwife C on the phone. That night was her rounds at the hospital and she called J to check in. What really amazed me was that C volunteered to come to the hospital and just stay with J overnight as the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">Cervadal</span> worked, even though there was no reason as all J had to do was sleep and wait for the drugs to work. That was really sweet and nice reminder of why we went with midwives. J told her to get her sleep and that we’d see her in the morning.<br /><br />J: We were awakened by the midwife C around 5am. The nurse on call had called her in because of some irregular heartbeats she noticed from all that constant monitoring. C said we should shower and eat breakfast because we had a big day ahead of us. L, our best friend and Godfather of our soon-to-be-born baby, arrived around 7am. He just moved to the area and he <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">couldn</span>‘t have come at a better time. He was on call to help us through labor. <br /><br />The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">Cervadal</span> had dilated me to 1cm so we had a lot of work to do to get this done. <br /><br />K: J was pretty disappointed that after 12 hours of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">Cervadal</span> she was only 1 cm. I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">wasn</span>’t too disappointed, because labor <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">doesn</span>’t just happen the first time around. Things take time. So my job was to be positive about that 1 cm and get the momentum going about the day ahead of us. Sadly, because we had to do constant monitoring J (and me too!) <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">couldn</span>’t use the nice massage hot tubs!<br /><br />J: I put on my pretty purple labor gown that K had given me and was ready for a big day. We were all kind of anxious because we <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">didn</span>’t know what to expect.<br /><br />K: I bought J a Pretty Pushers Dressed Up Delivery gift set that included a designer hospital gown, a matching headband, some lip gloss, lemon moist-towelettes and massage oil. I highly recommend getting this as a gift for the pregnant woman in your life! J looked so pretty.<br /><br />J: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Pitocin</span> was started around 9am. The goal was to dial it up to contractions every 2-3 minutes. No pain medication, so this was an ambitious goal for early labor, but we were afraid to slow things down with an epidural and the strong fast contractions were necessary to make the dilation happen. At first they were easy to handle and we even played a game of skip-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">bo</span>. But by the end of the game, things started heating up. <br /><br />K: Things were looking so relaxed in early labor that I asked L to take over while I went to the waiting room to make some phone calls. I took my time and made my way back through the secured labor and delivery doors when I saw L briskly walking toward me. He said that J was crying and that labor was getting harder. She wanted me to get back now.<br /><br />J: Labor was hard. K and L helped me through strong, hard, and fast contractions for many hours. It was rough. I alternated between walking and hanging on them, squatting on the birth ball, and sitting upright on the bed when I needed rest. Because I was on constant monitoring, many of the labor techniques I had learned <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">didn</span>’t apply, and we <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">couldn</span>’t use the hot tubs that we were so excited about. We were really limited in pain management techniques, but kept trying anyway. C sat with me through most of it, rubbing my back, rubbing my feet. This is where we knew using the midwives was the best decision. Who else would sit with us through every bit of this? We never felt alone in this.<br /><br />K: When things started getting hard I found myself overwhelmed by just how painful this was for J. I’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">ve</span> always said that the hardest thing for me in all this would be to see the love my life in such terrible pain and that was certainly the case. I had to do some yoga breathing of my own to keep from tearing up at the sight of her struggling to keep up with her contractions. I would be helping her with positions and luckily she never looked at my face because I was so sad for those first 10 contractions. After that I think I started to get used to the pattern and the sadness started to subside. On a more humorous note, J got to a point where she banned talking during contractions. This was something that we took seriously at the time, but it’s given us a good laugh since! We used to joke that I would be the kind of woman to tell people to shut up during contractions (if I ever were pregnant and in labor), so it was funny to find that in the moment J was that kind of woman too!<br /><br />J: Progress was slow and by 6pm we had only dilated to 2cm. C later said it was like active labor during early labor because of the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">pitocin</span>. Because progress was so slow and labor was so hard, I grew increasingly frustrated. Every exam made me more disappointed and disheartened. <br /><br />C was off duty at 7pm and returning the next night at 7pm. She said that she thought she might see this baby born the next night when she was here - that the baby <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_22">wouldn</span>’t be born for more than 24 hours. This added to my frustration. I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_23">couldn</span>’t imagine doing this <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_24">pitocin</span> induced labor for another 24 hours. This along with my slow progress really started to bring my spirits down.<br /><br />K: Now it was getting harder to be positive with J. She was spiraling and getting more and more disheartened and that was hard to deal with. All the positive talk and calming tones don’t work so well at this point. Every positive thing I had to say, she had something negative back at me.<br /><br />J: Luckily the baby was handling the labor very well and not showing any other signs of heartbeat problems. The midwife said we needed to make things happen faster, so she wanted to break the bag of waters to get the contractions stronger. I was starting to freak out a little at this point. I said “I know what you are saying is right, but I can’t agree to making these contractions stronger. I’m too exhausted as it is.” But K said “We have no choice, we can’t keep doing this forever.” So we agreed and broke the water. There was <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_25">meconium</span> in the water, another indicator that the baby was stressed, but C thought the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_26">meconium</span> looked old, like it was an indicator of past stress so she <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_27">wasn</span>’t too concerned but wanted to watch it.<br /><br />The contractions came strong and fast at this point and I started to really freak out. I asked for some kind of pain medicine. C said “you <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_28">weren</span>’t planning on an epidural originally, were you?” Almost yelling, I said “I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_29">wasn</span>’t planning on having a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_30">pitocin</span> induced labor!” <br /><br />K: To clarify, we <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_31">weren</span>’t really planning on anything. Of course labor without any drugs is the best for your baby, but it’s not necessarily prudent. We never came to this point thinking that we would or would not do anything--like some women automatically say they’re getting an epidural before going into labor and some women say the opposite. We did neither, but had our preference of doing what is best for the baby. To the midwife’s credit, she carefully reviewed our birth plan and wanted very much to abide by it and I really appreciate that. Of course, birth is flexible by nature and plans change, but the fact that she knew our preferences and wanted very much to honor that is something we appreciate.<br /><br />J: The two options were an epidural, where I would feel nothing but the labor would be slowed down, or <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_32">Nubain</span>, which is a narcotic that takes the edge off but still allows for labor to progress. C said <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_33">Nubain</span> was better for early labor. This was discussed for what seemed like a really long time for me and I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_34">wasn</span>‘t feeling mentally able to make any kinds of decisions. I felt like there was all of this talking and talking and in the mean time I kept having more and more contractions. Finally I said “I don’t know what to do, but we need to make a decision fast.” K said quickly “Let’s try the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_35">Nubain</span>.”<br /><br />K: I would have made the decision earlier for J, but I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_36">didn</span>’t want to tell her what to do. My preference was to use neither, but if J wanted it I would have done <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_37">Nubain</span> first to see if that worked. I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_38">didn</span>’t say anything, just waited for J to ask me what she should do and when she finally did we went with Nubian.<br /><br />J: The <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_39">Nubain</span> worked okay. I was able to manage the contractions for a while. But the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_40">Nubain</span> only lasts for an hour and when the contractions came back, they came back strong, stronger than before. At this point, I was practically begging for an epidural. It was time for a shift change for the midwives and S came back. As soon as she came in, C said to S, “She’s asking for an epidural.” S got things moving and the anesthesiologist came fairly quickly. At this point I was only 3 cm.<br /><br />K: This was an interesting point for me. Because I really thought that J was not going to get an epidural. I’m not against an epidural and to the contrary we’<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_41">ve</span> joked that if I was the one who was pregnant that I’d probably just schedule a c-section (not really a joke, I would totally do that). So the fact that she was so intent on getting an epidural made me realize that she really needed it, because she would not have asked for it if she <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_42">didn</span>’t. We were still in early labor and her contractions were coming every 2-3 minutes, more intense than if the contractions had ramped up naturally. Actually, after reviewing some info on contractions post-labor, we found that when your contractions are 2-3 minutes apart that’s more like the transition phase of labor which is right before you should be birthing the baby, but of course we were still technically in early labor (where contractions should be much less challenging).<br /><br />J: As C was leaving, she said “If this baby is born by midnight, it will be a girl. If it’s born by 7am, it’s a boy.” We’d been hearing a lot of these predictions so we just laughed this one off. S said many times throughout the night that she was convinced it was a girl. We’d spent most of our appointments with her and she was there for my gallstones emergency at the hospital, so she’d certainly spent enough time with us to get an idea. <br /><br />I was pretty much gone at this point, barely able to handle each contraction, and I was really freaking out. The anesthesiologist came in jovial and telling jokes. I was practically yelling at him. L had to go in the hall during the procedure and he could hear me yelling out in the hall. The anesthesiologist made me change into a real hospital gown instead of my pretty purple dress--asshole.<br /><br />The epidural was amazing. I <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_43">didn</span>’t feel any of the contractions from this point on. I went straight to sleep and K and L ate dinner and everyone relaxed a little bit. I could hear them talking and laughing but <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_44">couldn</span>’t focus on what they were saying because I was so exhausted. My legs were completely numb. I kept thinking that I should tell someone that my legs were numb, like that was something to be concerned with, but then I would remember that my legs were supposed to be numb. We were able to sleep/rest for a few hours.<br /><br />K: The epidural was amazing -- we went from frantic and dazed to peaceful and calm. While J, of course, took the brunt of all this, L and I were exhausted as well. My back was aching from all the weight J put on me during the contractions. She would use me to sway back and forth, she would rest on my shoulders, lean on the back and front. Basically many of the labor positions we tried, and as her wife I wanted to be part of them all (not just asking L to always take over). But after so many hours my body was aching too and I was happy for the respite.<br /><br />J: S monitored the baby as the contractions got stronger and saw the problems with the heart rate coming back. She placed an internal monitor to the baby’s head for a better read and got similar results. She came in and said she thought it was time to call it and do a c-section. This was around 10:30pm. When she said it, I was relieved. I thought, finally, this will be over. The doctor was called in from home and we prepared for the c-section. At this point I was only 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced.<br /><br />K: I was so happy that we were doing an c-section. I felt bad for being happy about it, since this is major surgery but I was relieved. I was happy that our baby was finally going to be on the outside and it <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_45">didn</span>’t matter to me (it never did) how she got there. I was worried that recovery of the c-section would be hard, but that was a thought for later. Our baby was soon to be born!<br /><br />J: K put on scrubs. The doctor came in and introduced himself, wearing his casual clothes. All of this is kind of vague to me. I was basically exhausted and relieved and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_46">didn</span>’t care much more about what happened next as long as the baby was safe. The anesthesiologist came back in to expand my epidural. The normal labor epidural makes you numb from the waist down, the c-section epidural makes you numb from the shoulders down.<br /><br />My bed was wheeled into the operating room. K had to wait in the recovery room until right before the procedure. The room was super bright and cold and there were a lot of people in there, none of them introduced themselves to me. The doctor was there, and S was there. She seemed to be there to interpret things for me - everything that was done to me she would explain to me what was happening and why. They tied me to the metal table. A man was soft and gentle, but I don’t know what his role was. A curtain was hung directly in front of my face. K was brought in and sat on a stool next to my head. <br /><br />The operation was strange. I was awake but completely numb. It felt like at the dentist when you feel what’s happening but feel no pain. There was a lot of pressure. The weirdest part was when they pushed the baby out. The incision is a small hole just below my belly, just big enough for a baby to fit through. The baby is pushed through the hole and you can feel the pushing. I thought I was going to puke, but <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_47">didn</span>’t of course. <br /><br />Then at some point I heard a baby cry. I asked “Is that our baby?” The anesthesiologist yelled “It’s a baby girl!” K asked“What time was she born?“ People in the room asked around - what time, what time? Someone said “12:09”. K was allowed to go see the baby as she was examined and cleaned up. She was allowed to hold the baby and she brought her over to me. I was still being stitched up and was still tied to the operating table. I wanted to see the baby but was also very uncomfortable. I felt very guilty - I knew I should want to see the baby but I was so uncomfortable. S said she knew it was going to be a girl.<br /><br />K: I brought the baby over to J and put her just within reach so J could stroke her face while still tied to the operating table. She seemed happy to have that moment, but also deep in concentration as she was still in surgery. So D and I just sat there offering our support to Mommy.<br /><br />J: I was transferred onto another table then wheeled into the recovery room. D was put in between my legs and traveled with us. I started shivering uncontrollably. S said I should breastfeed. I was shivering too much to feel comfortable holding my baby. I said that I couldn’t. S said that I didn’t need to do anything, just stay still and let her have my breast. She placed the baby to the breast and got her to feed while I dozed on and off and shivered. <br /><br />K: Our original birth plan included the baby being put to J’s breast directly after birth. Of course with a c-section that wasn’t possible, but D was put on J’s breast as soon as possible (probably a half hour later).<br /><br />J: The nurse gave me Demoral for the shivering. I kept shivering and asked S if the nurse really gave me Demoral because I wasn’t feeling any different. S assured me that the medicine was given. Then I asked if they removed my placenta during the c-section. I was afraid I would have to birth that, but S assured me that it was removed as well. <br /><br />S told me that she was happy I had an epidural. She said she didn’t think there was any way this baby was going to come out naturally. She thought I was trying to push a square peg through a round hole - that the baby was just too big for me. She had actually told me this at my very first vaginal exam - that she was concerned my pelvis was too small. With 25+ years of experience, she probably knows what she’s talking about.<br /><br />K: In retrospect, this may have been partly our fault (though haven’t talked to the midwives about it). We chose a donor who is the average height for a man (5’10”) and who has parents and grandparents who are even taller. D was born at 20.5 inches. Maybe our donor is a little too big for J’s body. Unfortunately, South Asian men are hard to come by in terms of sperm donors so our pool was slim.<br /><br />J: S gave me a hug and a kiss and left for the night, as soon as D was cleared and I was ready to transfer to postpartum.<br /><br />The nurses took the baby for a bath and took me to the postpartum room.<br /><br />K: I was asked if I wanted to go with the baby and oversee (I guess) her bath. I felt absolutely no guilt at saying no. I wanted to stay with J and make sure that she was okay first and I would do the same thing over again.<br /><br />J: It was about 2:30 am. K went to find L who had spent this time packing up our stuff (we moved in, practically) and I said “Find our baby! I haven’t held her yet.” L and K came back to the room and I said “Where’s the baby? I haven’t held her yet!” K said they had her in the warmer and they’d bring her in when she was warmer. A nurse came in and I told her I wanted to see my baby. She said the same thing K said. I was feeling frantic because it had been a few hours and I hadn’t held my baby yet. When she was first born, I didn’t want to hold her because I was so uncomfortable, but now I couldn’t think of anything else. Finally the nurse brought her into the room in a bassinet and I said “Let me have her!” K handed her to me and I held my baby for the first time and it was amazing.<br /><br />K: Right after D’s birth I was on a deadline. I had 2 hours from birth to call the cord blood bank courier about packaging and picking up D’s cord blood to have it air mailed to California where it will be stored. Because this was so important and because we had to get it right, that’s all I could think about. Until L and I got that package placed in the courier’s hand, I was preoccupied. I know J was anxious about D, but I couldn’t concentrate on her.<br /><br />J: L slept in the fold out sofa and K slept in the recliner. The bassinet was placed next to my bed and neither K nor I slept that night. Every time she made a noise, I told K to get up and investigate. I couldn’t walk (I couldn’t even feel my legs) or I probably would have stood next to that crib the entire night.<br />_____________________________________________________________________________________NOTES<br />We really appreciated how well the midwives wanted to stick our birth plan. After S said we needed to do an emergency c-section all our other preferences went out the door. However, she still strived to meet our preferences even in our changed situation. For example, K got to be in the operating room right beside J. As soon as the baby was born our original preference was for K to “catch” the baby as it came out. As soon as the doctor got the baby out of J’s belly, D was carried over to the warmer and S led K directly over right away to see our baby. K couldn’t touch until the pediatrician and nurses were done cleaning her (they called in a special Neonatologist), but as soon as they were done K got to hold her baby first as planned. (The baby’s Apgar score was a 9--so actually very healthy.) Then K brought D up to J while the operation was still going on and J could touch her and see her beautiful face. The original plan was after catching the baby, the baby would be placed on J’s chest for breastfeeding right away. Given we had a c-section we couldn’t do that. However, as soon as the operation was done (as it’s a quick procedure) the baby joined us on J’s bed and we were taken to a recovery room where S helped D to breastfeed from J. J was out of it and shaking uncontrollably (happens to vaginal births too, related to hormones) but S wanted us to have that experience and more importantly to start off as best we could with breastfeeding with D. While things didn’t go as planned, our preferences (before, during and after the c-section) were respected and that made all the difference in terms of our how we view this experience.<br /><br />We really trust the midwives and that made this whole process so easy for us. In our childbirth class all the partners kept talking about their roles being to be really informed and having to constantly fight for a vaginal birth (as opposed to just automatically going for a c-section). Since we really trusted the midwives, we never felt like we had to fight for anything or even had to be that knowledgeable of the process ahead of time. They always explained everything really well, always let us ask tons of questions and were really supportive through everything. We knew that when S said we needed a c-section, we needed a c-section. There was no question. Having talked to other women due around the same time as us, they were being pressured into c-sections and really had to fight to wait it out. One even said they found out that (after the fact) her doctor always had a birth on his birthday, and so she was induced! We surrounded ourselves with professionals we trusted and just let go. We will definitely use the midwives again, though likely to co-manage another c-section.<br /><br />We are in love with Shady Grove Hospital. Everything was so nice. We live 2 miles away from our local hospital, but it was totally worth the extra miles to give birth at Shady Grove. Everything was new, all the nurses and staff were excellent. They all treated us so well. There was Mom (J) and the other Mom (K). Many would refer to us as the mommies, etc. We felt really welcomed there and that’s an important thing to feel during such a huge life event.<br /><br />The Birth Partner by Patty Simkin was an excellent book and I highly recommend it for partners. It really helped me be useful for J--to help guide her through contractions, help her find the right positions and help her focus on her breathing and remaining calm. Of course, with a c-section I didn’t have to do anything but through the 14 hours of labor I was happy I had the knowledge from that book. In particular, I’ve never thought of childbirth for myself and always (even very young) assumed I would just adopt. As a same-sex couple we then had 2 uteruses; J really wanted to be pregnant and I really wanted an Indian baby so I found myself having to go through conception, pregnancy and childbirth after all. I couldn’t have done the latter and most challenging part without this book, it really helped me through something I never wanted to experience in the first place.<br /><br />With that said, pregnancy and childbirth is fine but having the baby is the best part. Some women feel really tied to the experience of childbirth. So many women who have told us their birth stories would recount all the bad things that happened and how they hated this or hated that about their experience. I don't think we hated anything about our experience because the point of all this is to have the baby. We got pregnant in the first place because we wanted a baby--not to share in some sacred experience of women all over the world. Having that viewpoint made it easy for us to let go and just let things happen during birth. So in that respect, we had a wonderful birth experience and we're very blessed to have a healthy, beautiful baby.<br />And now with writing our birth story, we are happy to close this chapter of our lives. For 9 months we've been hearing nothing but birth stories from everyone, strangers alike, and by like month 4 we were totally over it. We're so happy to have pregnancy and birth behind us--now we're onto the fun part!JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-85877379256998549582009-06-16T12:03:00.000-07:002009-06-16T12:12:33.692-07:00Rough morningLast night was a rough night. I ate cabbage for lunch yesterday and I think it made little D gassy (actually, both of us were a little gassy...). She fussed all night and we got little sleep. I was planning to go to the La Leche League meeting this morning at 10am. I woke up tired around 8:30 and had about an hour to get both of us ready to go. I breast fed, took a quick shower, breast fed some more, got dressed, got D dressed, and shoved down my breakfast. It looked like we were going to make it. But then I couldn't find my cell phone (I still haven't found it). And D wouldn't stop spitting up - all over me and her. I put her in the stroller and she spit up and then started screaming. And I groaned, "Oh no, don't scream the whole way there" and then I started crying. <br /><br />But there was no time for crying and I sucked it up and got on the road. She did scream the whole way there. I got to the community center and found the room, but no one was there. I asked at the front desk and she said "Why don't you feed that baby?" Um, I will, but I need to find my meeting, please. She checks it out and says "I'm sorry but La Leche League meets on Wednesdays." Great. Then she opens the room anyway because she really wants me to feed that baby, and I start to do so, crying a little. But then this woman come for her quilters group which meets in that room. <br /><br />So they opened another room just for me to feed my baby, and I sit there until she's fed and then go home. And I'll do it all again tomorrow, but hopefully it will go a little better.JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-33813902535499753772009-06-12T12:23:00.001-07:002009-06-12T12:29:20.562-07:00All AloneToday we are alone for the first time. K's mom flew into town the day our daughter was born and stayed for two weeks, leaving on Tuesday. Our best friend and the baby's godmother A arrived on Tuesday and left yesterday. We've never been alone in our home with our baby. It's actually kind of nice - just our family. Luckily for me K is working from home right now or I think this would be very hard for me, but instead it's quite enjoyable. We just stay home together - K working, me being domestic and breastfeeding. It also helps that we have a lot of food in the fridge thanks to K's mom and friends from church. Last night we had vegetable lasagna and for lunch today we had vegetable curry. Tonight we'll probably have fried rice. All in the fridge. We're doing okay. This baby is certainly hard and sometimes scary but we're doing okay. Our baby turned two weeks old yesterday.<br /><br />On a completely different note, I stink. My underarms stink after just a short walk outside, and this happens daily. They've never stunk this much before in my life, even after vigorous workouts. I've been noticing it for the last week. I guess this is related to hormones. It doesn't help that I often forget to wear deodorant. I can't remember everything these days, and that seems to be the one I forget.JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-75306525018928409212009-06-11T12:45:00.000-07:002009-06-11T16:08:57.612-07:00Oops!Oops, yesterday I published the birth story before K was finished writing it. So then I took it down. You'll have to wait to see the real thing. Sorry K! I'm just an eager beaver!JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-2991625723353195742009-06-08T08:55:00.000-07:002009-06-08T09:12:53.823-07:00NormalcyToday I feel normal. Despite a rough morning which left me and the baby covered in spit up (like soaking in it) and despite the fact that I'm typing this one-handed while my daughter nurses, I feel good today. Today, for the first time in two weeks, I took a shower, put mousse in my hair, put on a nice dress, and put on <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">deodorant</span>. I'm clean, I look good, and I smell good. <br /><br />Many women told me I would mourn being pregnant. I don't. The last month of pregnancy kind of sucks - tired, sick, large, hot. The only thing I miss is the obviousness of it - The random smiles and congrats from strangers, people holding doors and carrying things for me. But even that gets old. And I don't miss the unwelcome comments from people about my body size.<br /><br />Instead I love being a mom. This was why I was pregnant after all. I love looking at my daughter's perfectness. I love the way she smells. I don't mind the spit up and the sleeplessness.JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-57213090644791133492009-06-02T18:27:00.000-07:002009-06-02T18:47:05.728-07:00Some random thoughts<ul><li>My breasts are bigger than my baby's head. It's amazing how big these things are. I look down at them while breastfeeding and wonder whose breast they are.</li><li>My breasts are no longer my own. They are things used for feeding. There is nothing sexual or private about them. I have shown them to more people than I can count including three friends and K's mom, none of whom I would have considered showing them to a week ago. In the hospital, I spoke to many doctors, nurses, midwives, lactation consultants, people who deliver the food, etc. while naked from the top up. Sometimes breastfeeding, which doesn't feel too bad because you are mostly covered by the baby. But sometimes while pumping, which just feels really weird - you are completed exposed and pumping. Those were probably the time I was most embarrassed. I thought it was over when I left the hospital, but we went to the pediatrician yesterday and had questions about breastfeeding. She said 'let's give it a try and see how it looks.' I hesitated a little and then pulled out my breast and fed my baby during the rest of the appointment. I long for modesty.</li><li>I love the hospital. Advocates of birthing centers and home births told me that hospitals are horrible because you are poked and prodded and get no rest. I disagree - hospitals are fabulous. They care for you, they answer the many baby related questions you have, they feed you, they do the massive amounts of baby laundry that piles up, they provide you with diapers, wipes, etc. - all you need to care for the baby, they take your baby a few hours at night to give you sleep, they provide you with unlimited lactation support for free. The place is amazing. We didn't want to leave. And luckily with the c-section we got to stay a long time.</li><li>Breastfeeding on demand is a lot of work. Not work, really, but time consuming. I can't do anything but breastfeed. Today I went through stretches of feeding every half hour. I fed during dinner. I feed all night long. I'm cranky from not being able to do anything. She's sleeping now which means I get a break, but also that when we are ready for bed, she'll be wide awake and wanting to eat.</li><li>Baby's go through a lot of laundry. They spit up on the new clothes you just dressed them in, they have juicy poop explosions. In just two days at home we had a whole load of laundry just from the baby, and each one needed to be stain treated. </li></ul>JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-64530328592907644062009-05-31T18:50:00.000-07:002009-05-31T18:55:19.972-07:00Birth!We are the proud parents of a four day old (almost) baby girl. She was born at 41 weeks and 2 days, emergency induction followed by emergency c-section. It was hard but in the end we have a healthy baby girl. 7 1bs 3 oz, 20.5 inches. We just got home from the hospital today and we are exhausted and not looking forward to another sleepless night, this time without nurses to relieve us to let us sleep for a few hours. But we can't complain too much when we look into the eyes of our beautiful baby, currently sleeping on K's chest in the rocking chair while K sings My Darling Clementine softly. <br /><br />More info to come. Now I must go pump, breastfeed, and try to nap for an hour or so until I do it all again, if the baby lets me. Good night everyone.JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-15193487965197731822009-05-19T12:50:00.000-07:002009-05-19T12:54:18.680-07:00Oh, and I forgot the best partI also have a yeast infection. I need to start taking Monostat today. Otherwise the baby will be given thrush during birth. <br /><br />From Dr. Google:<br /><br /><em>What is thrush?<br />Thrush is a yeast infection that causes white patches in the mouth and on the tongue. Thrush is most common in babies and older adults, but it can occur at any age.</em><br /><br />Doesn't sound fun for the baby. I certainly don't want my baby born with this.JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-62168194977660773302009-05-19T11:19:00.000-07:002009-05-19T12:16:55.650-07:0040 week midwife appointmentToday we are forty weeks. We went to the midwife this morning. The baby is still healthy, everything seems fine. I have dropped a lot. Last week, when I was at -2 station, my uterus was measuring 37.5 cm. Today it measured 35 cm, the first time it has shrunk, an indication of how much the baby has dropped. But she didn't give an estimate of the station. This midwife is much less quantitative than the other. She also said the cervix was soft, but didn't give a percentage effaced. I'm guessing fully? But the cervix is closed up tight - no dilation. So no baby yet.<br /><br />Last week the baby was slightly to my right side. So I've been doing the yoga positions cat/cow and child's pose all week to try to move the baby to the center. Today the baby was completely to my right side, in a worse position than last week. Basically we are headed for back labor. She said to spend more time on my hands and knees, but I feel like I've been doing that all week and not only have gone nowhere with it, but have gone backwards. This in particular was very disappointing to me.<br /><br />We made a plan for the next two weeks which we hopefully won't need. Next appointment in 1 week on the 26th at 41 weeks. At that appointment we will do a Non Stress Test. Then on the 28th we go in for a Biophysical profile. Then back on the 29th for another Non Stress Test. Then induced on June 1, just 1 day shy of 42 weeks. So by June 1st or 2nd we will have a baby. <br /><br />I asked what induction means. I will check into the hospital on June 1. If there is no dilation, they will apply something to my cervix (I don't remember what it's called) and let it sit overnight. Then the next day start Pitocin. If there is some dilation, they will just start me on Pitocin. <br /><br />This means that we may get this Memorial Day weekend to celebrate before the baby is born. This is the good. We're trying to think of some low key and local ways to celebrate together. <br /><br />This also means that K's mom may be here for the birth. This is the bad. This thought stresses me out more than any other. She's trying when I'm in my best of moods. <br /><br />This also means possibly weeks of coworkers coming by daily to see if I'm still here. Yes, I'm still here. Today is my due date. Half of all births occur after the due date, so it's not shocking that I'm still here. No, I'm not going to stay home for the next few weeks. That sounds excruciating and there is no medical reason to do so. Yes, I'm excited. Yes, I'm nervous. Yes, I'm tired. They all mean well, but one after another is a lot. The women are pushy, the men are tentative. The women say things like "I can't believe you are still here!" The men tip toe into my office and say softly, like I'm sick in bed, "How are you feeling?" Two women stopped by today and I finally said to them, "Hey, you've both given birth. You know what it's like. Don't pressure me." I'm sure I've been the annoying coworker, but I vow, never again!<br /><br /><br />Here's my google research:<br /><br />About dropping/lightening: <em>It cannot be directly linked to indicating that labor will start within a certain window but it usually occurs up to two weeks before labor in 65% of first-time moms. Although it can't pinpoint the beginning of labor, it is a sign that things are headed in the right direction.Read more: "Lightening During Pregnancy as an Early Sign of Labor" - </em><a href="http://www.givingbirthnaturally.com/lightening-during-pregnancy.html#ixzz0Fym4TZUg&A"><em>http://www.givingbirthnaturally.com/lightening-during-pregnancy.html#ixzz0Fym4TZUg&A</em></a><br /><br />So if I dropped sometime before last Monday, I should have the baby sometime before next Monday (if I'm like 65% of other first time moms) or sometime later (if I'm like 35% of first-time moms).<br /><br />About the Fetal non-Stress test: <em>The test involves attaching one belt to the mother’s abdomen to measure fetal heart rate and another belt to measure contractions. Movement, heart rate and “reactivity” of heart rate to movement is measured for 20-30 minutes. If the baby does not move, it does not necessarily indicate that there is a problem; the baby could just be asleep. A nurse may use a small “buzzer” to wake the baby for the remainder of the test. The test can indicate if the baby is not receiving enough oxygen because of placental or umbilical cord problems; it can also indicate other types of fetal distress.</em><br /><br />About the Biophysical Profile: <em>A biophysical profile (BPP) test measures the health of your baby (</em><a onclick="return sl(this,'hw','embd-lnk');" href="http://www.webmd.com/hw-popup/fetus"><em>fetus</em></a><em>) during pregnancy. The BPP measures your baby's heart rate, muscle tone, movement, breathing, and the amount of </em><a onclick="return sl(this,'hw','embd-lnk');" href="http://www.webmd.com/hw-popup/amniotic-fluid"><em>amniotic fluid</em></a><em> around your baby. Special ultrasound methods are used to keep track of movement, increases in heart rate with movement (nonstress test), muscle tone, breathing rate, and the amount of <a onclick="return sl(this,'hw','embd-lnk');" href="http://www.webmd.com/hw-popup/amniotic-fluid">amniotic fluid</a> surrounding your baby. If these five areas are within a normal range, your baby is considered to be in good health. </em><br /><em></em><br /><em></em>JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-40499793504375987532009-05-18T08:09:00.000-07:002009-05-18T08:28:20.822-07:00Shifting due dateWhen we first got pregnant, we were told by the RE that the due date was May 16. That's the one we've been counting on and telling everyone. That's the one that came and went on Saturday. We did everything we could on Saturday to encourage this baby to come, but it didn't. We walked, got pedicures, swung on the swing set in the park, at spicy food, ate tropical fruit. Our friend A was in town from NC visiting. She and L were there for conception and it would be awesome if they were both there for birth. But then she had to go home. I cried on Sunday. I really believed it would have happened by then. I've been thinking about about May 16 since the middle of September.<br /><br />But somewhere along the way the midwives changed the due date to May 19. That's tomorrow. In the last month I've been telling everyone my due date was May 19 because I figured it would feel better to have a later date in case I was late. I was right. Being late doesn't feel good. But then I remind myself that I'm not late. I'm not due until tomorrow. <br /><br />But then I talked to my mom yesterday. She said she was 5 days late with my sister, her first, and 1 day late with me. Five days from the new due date would be Sunday, May 23. I think I'm going to start considering May 23 my due date in my head so that I don't feel like I've missed something. <br /><br />Tomorrow is our midwife appointment. We were hoping not to have to attend this one, but chances are we will. At our last appointment she said that at our next appointment we would discuss a plan for if this baby is late. Looks like we're going to need that plan. <br /><br />K's mom is coming on May 27. That's 8 days past the due date. We really wanted her to come after the baby is born because she would drive both K and I crazy during delivery. She has a lot of opinions and a lot of advice, and we disagree with all of it. But now, 8 days late, that doesn't seem so unreasonable. She may be here for the birth and if she is, we really can't shut her out. She's grandma and she flew in from FL. I've got my fingers crossed that the baby comes before then. <br /><br />She called on Saturday to check in and told me that she is sending vibes for us not to have this baby for at least another week. She thinks it needs to cook more. Get nice and large. It was already 6 lbs 9 oz three weeks ago. I think that the baby is plenty big. I said that I don't want to wait that long and I don't want to give birth to a large baby because it will just be hard and have complications. She said 'No, you'll just have an episiotomy and it will come right out.' Ugh, I would like to avoid an episiotomy please. I finally convinced her (I think) to send positive thoughts for a baby any day. This was just one crazy part of a crazy conversation with a crazy old lady. <br /><br />Now I'm at work and everyone keeps stopping by to see if I'm still here. I am. And I'll likely be here all week. Please stop reminding me that it sucks, okay?JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5020255455496318059.post-37628431900412885902009-05-12T13:39:00.000-07:002009-05-12T13:51:52.019-07:00One weekI am one week from my due date. I've answered that question a million times today, and a million times yesterday. Coworkers, friends, complete strangers. I'm thinking of getting a countdown sign and wearing it on my chest. Today it says 7, tomorrow 6, etc. Then I won't have to answer. Of course, I'll still get the follow-up questions - are you excited? are you nervous? are you uncomfortable? are you tired? are you ready? yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Of course my favorite is from coworkers - oh, you're still here, I was wondering if you would be here today. I'm thinking - yes, I was wondering too, I wonder every day, but I'm still here, so let's work. <br /><br />Dressing is getting harder and harder. Today I'm wearing an outfit I really don't like. It's not professional at all. I would never wear this to work, especially not on a Tuesday. A pink t-shirt, black capris, and black flip flops. But the pants fit, and few do, and the t-shirt covers my belly, which few do anymore, and is kind of thin, so I won't get too hot. And flip flops are all I'm wearing right now because of my swollen feet. So this is my outfit today. This is the first day I've had to just wear something, whatever, and not care. As I was getting dressed this morning, I thought, I'm 39 weeks pregnant - everyone will understand. I hope that's true. <br /><br />I'm pretty much finished with my work. I have a report to work on that I really was hoping to push off until after maternity leave, but I think I may have to start on it now since I may be here for a few more weeks and can't just sit around and I seem to have finished all of my other tasks. But first I think I'll clean my office - put that work off for a little longer. And maybe I'll go into labor tonight and none of this will matter.JKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09793255794713250546noreply@blogger.com2