Happy Halloween!

Halloween is K's favorite holiday. We spend the whole month of October watching shows about true hauntings, reading books about true hauntings, and just emersing ourselves in the scariness of it. This year we got the Discover channel show A Haunting and and the sci-fi show Ghost Hunters off of netflix and we've been watching and getting super scared.

K bought me a gift - the paperback of Amityville Horror, another true haunting story. Her mom read this book while pregnant with K, probably how K got so obsessed with the paranormal. So now we're going to read this book while pregnant with Precious Poo and the tradition continues.

Tonight we are having an elegant adults only Halloween dinner party. We're having a lot of these adults only parties right now since it will be our last for many years to come. We've draped our home with black fabric and set black candles on the table. We've downloaded scary classical music, like the theme to Psycho. And we have a haunted menu planned, complete with blood orange soda and dirt for dessert. It should be fun.

Happy Diwali!

Today is Diwali, the Hindu Festival of Lights, where the lights signify victory of good over the evil within every human being. We started celebrating last year, just a quiet celebration in our home. Last year it was just the two of us, this year L will be joining us. This year is much more low-key because that's our life right now. To officially celebrate, you clean your entire home and wear new clothes so that you are presenting your pure self. Well, K did some cleaning last night while I rested and tried not to be sick, but it's certainly not a super clean home. And we don't have any new clothes to wear - we're trying to save money and don't have time for shopping with all of the sleeping I do. I'm sure the gods will understand. Last year I also cooked a nice Indian meal. This year I'm stopping at Whole Foods on the way home to pick up some frozen Indian food. It's not the same but the sentiment is still there. Happy Diwali everyone!

Emails and voting

Here is an email I sent to a high school friend of mine that lives in Sacramento:

Hey M - it's been a long time! How's it going? You two aren't newlyweds anymore - just and old married couple now. It feels good, right? We are doing wonderfully. We have some big news - I'm pregnant! The baby is due in May. It's very exciting, and also very scary. Mostly I'm very tired right now, with some queasiness. But suposedly all of that will clear up soon and I'll have lots of energy during the second trimester. I can't wait! We're planning our baby moon (the last trip before we are parents) to snowy Deep Creek Lake, MD, for Christmas. After this year, the Christmases will be all about the baby!

Hey, by the way, I wanted to remind you to vote No on Proposition 8 - the same-sex marriage ban. I hear the vote is expected to be very close but that the yes votes are winning right now. Everybody in the country is watching this vote and if the proposition doesn't pass, it'll be a big deal - saying that the people of CA really support same-sex marriage. And it might make it easier for the rest of us to have same-sex marriage in other states, which would be so amazing for K and I and our growing family. But if the ban does pass, who knows about the rest of us.

So hope all is well with you. We really wanted to share our big news with you. Any baby plans in your future? Let me know what's up.



And I sent this email to 8 friends and family that live in FL:

Hey everyone, I am super jealous that you are voting in a state where your vote actually counts. I remember how exciting it was to be in FL in 2000 when it was so much in the news. K went down and watched the hand counting of votes in DeLand and some of our professors invited us to a protest. MD always votes democrat, so it doesn't matter what we do, so it's kind of like watching from the sidelines. So, for me and K, make sure you get out there and vote! We can live vicariously through you. Living in FL is a unique experience - elections in FL are won by only a few hundred votes so your vote really, really matters.

You probably know that on the ballot in FL is the ammendment to the FL constitution that bans same-sex marriage in FL. This ammendment is completely unnecessary - state law already says that marriage is between a man and a woman and federal law says that no state has to recognize same-sex marriages from other states or countries. All this ammendment will do is further emphasize that same-sex marriages are illegal - it won't change anything. Same-sex marriage is already illegal in FL. There are many same-sex couples living in FL currently that are not trying to get married. They know that it's illegal and still live in FL because they like FL. In many other states that have passed this constitutional ammendment banning same-sex marriage, same-sex couples have started to leave the state because they feel very unwelcome. They were fine not being able to marry but now they feel like the state doesn't want them there at all. They don't usually move to a state where marriage is legal (there are only 3 of these), they just move somewhere that doesn't have the constitutional ammendment just because they feel less negativity there. So for all of these reasons, please vote no on this ammendment! Here's a website with more information: http://www.christchurchofpeace.org/ktnf/amendment-and-you.html

Thanks for voting and letting us live vicariously through you! Happy Halloween!

My mother-in-law is driving me crazy!

She calls every other day with a lecture. She was a nurse like 40 years ago and thinks she knows a lot and wants to tell me all about it. Here are things she says in every phone call:

1. You need to eat a lot of protein. Are you eating enough protein?
Yes, I'm eating enough protein. You're only asking me this because I'm a vegetarian, and I find that annoying even when I'm not pregnant.

2. I tell her I'm really tired. She first tells me that this is not a symptom of pregnancy - she's never heard of that before. Then she says, in a voice full of judgement, that I need to go to bed earlier, stop going out so much, reduce my social life. I'm tired because I do too much.
Um, hello, I don't do anything. I took three naps this weekend. I go to bed every night at 9pm. And everyone is tired during the first 12 weeks.

3. Lie to your work about how far along you are. You're not allowed to work past 7 months, so you need to lie to them.
So many things wrong with this - it's just not true!

4. I tell her we are going to a family reunion in TN for Thanksgiving that my parents have been planning for two years. She says, "No, you can't go to that. You need to stay home and rest."
I will be in my second trimester, feeling more energetic than I have in months. It's only a 7 hour drive, and we plan to take multiple breaks so that I can walk and get my circulation going. There is nothing wrong with traveling when you are 3 1/2 months pregnant! And besides, I want to go!

5. How long do you want me to stay in May?
It's May! It's like forever from now. I can barely make it through work awake, I come home and all I want to do is sleep. I cannot think about how long I want you to stay with me in May. And frankly, you are driving me crazy, so right now I want to tell you not to come at all! Why don't you call back when I'm feeling good in the second trimester and we'll talk about it then, when I can be nicer?

6. I ask her what her plans are for her visit for New Years. She asks me to help her find tickets. Then she says it's too much money and why should she come if she's coming in May. I tell her I did a lot of work to research this, we will pay for her tickets as a Christmas present. She says she'll call me back in a day or two. She hasn't called back in a week, so I'm assuming she's not coming. At least this was a way to get her to stop calling!

She's said many other crazy things as well, but these recur every phone call. When I give her responses to her craziness, she is adamant that she is right - No, I know you're not allowed to work past 7 months. It's a rule, you can't get past it. Or I know how you guys are - you stay up late and you have a big social life. You've got to make sacrifices.

And frankly, she was a nurse for the shortest time ever, and hasn't worked in like a million years, and she didn't work on the maternity wing. She only had one child. She is certainly no pregnancy expert.

I told K that I don't want to talk to her for a few weeks. I'm not answering the phone for a while. K can answer it and tell her I'm sleeping. I understand that this her first grandchild and I'm glad that she is excited. She's always gotten on my nerves with her "I know more than you" attitude, but now that I've got pregnancy hormones, and I'm tired, I cannot take it. I don't want to say anything mean, so I'm not going to talk to her anymore for now. She's not my mom, so I don't have to talk to her if I don't want to.

Emotional

I woke up from a nap today at noon, and I was hungry. I couldn't figure out what to eat for lunch, so I started crying. And I cried for about an hour. K kept saying "Why are you crying?" and I couldn't come up with an answer. Emotions!

Belly Band

Mine arrived in the mail yesterday. It's fabulous. I'm wearing my cordoroys, which I had pretty much written off this season because they were too tight. It's wonderful - my wardrobe has opened up again. And it's really comfortable - snug but not tight. A wonderful purchase. I got the crazy color that was on clearance, as shown in the picture, but it's cool because I'm wearing my cords again.

TV

I'm watching a lot of TV these days since I'm so tired. I come home from work, lay down for a while to watch TV, get up to make/eat dinner, lay down and watch more TV, and then go to bed by 9pm. We don't have cable, so the TV choices are very limited, and I'm watching things I would never normally watch. Like reruns of Two and a Half Men. I hate the show - it is not funny at all. Yet I watch it most nights since it's on 5 nights a week. Other bad TV I find myself watching - TMZ, My Wife and Kids, NCIS, Desperate Housewives, Friends, Extreme Makeover Home Edition, Judge Judy, Judge Joe Brown. On Saturday I watched a movie on the CW called Boys and Girls. It was horrible, but I watched the whole thing (well I snoozed in the middle but I'm sure I didn't miss anything). I also watch a lot of Curious George. It's sad when the best thing I can find to watch is on PBS kids.

It's times like these when I think "I want cable!" But then I remember that I'm at 9 weeks, and supposedly something magical happens at 12 weeks when all of the sudden I have energy again and I won't waste all of my time snoozing on the sofa and watching horrible TV. I can make it through three more weeks, but not much longer...

Stuff

1. I had my first throw up on Friday. Yea for a milestone, I guess...

2. We visited a day care on Friday. We loved it. It's an intergenerational center, so they do both adult and child care, and the adults and children interact. It's close to our home. But it costs a lot. I think it's pretty typical - $80 per day - but that's a lot of money 5 days a week all year. Oh well... We spent the $165 to get on their wait list. K is touring a place by her work soon.

3. The first midwife appointment was on Friday. K took pictures. Midwife said everything looked good. We're going back on Nov 11.

4. My belly is hard. All of the flabby fat is now a hard protective layer. It's very interesting. I ordered a belly band from Amazon today because my pants don't fit anymore. Even though I haven't gained any weight (I've actually lost 3 pounds), my shape is different, and now harder, and my pants don't fit and I'm tired of walking around with unbuttoned pants that are falling off of me. Today I'm wearing K's skirt, which fits nicely except that it's long. It's hard to be this short.

5. We went hiking yesterday. The easy trail at Cunningham Falls State Park. It was beautiful with the fall leaves. It was fun. I came home exhausted. I can't wait for the energy that is promised with the second trimester.

Don't tell!

Today I had a class at work with lots of colleagues. The class was 11am - 12:30, followed by lunch. Knowing that eating a late lunch wouldn't sit so well on my tummy, I grabbed my trusty crackers to go with me. As we sat down to lunch, M said, with a knowing twinkle in his eye, "Is there a reason for the Saltines?" to which I replied "Not that I want to talk about here, but I'll tell you later." And then we had this email exchange:

Me: So you know why women eat crackers, right?
M: that's why I was asking…just confirming my suspicions…congratulations!

Me: Thanks! May due date. I'm waiting until after my big review to tell people at work.

M: I've seen enough cracker eating in my day to have bells and whistles go off in my head. I'll keep it hush-hush.

I admit, crackers and a long, baggy shirt are pretty tell-tale signs of pregnancy (though long, baggy shirts are actually in right now and I bought this shirt before I was pregnant). And closer friends are really starting to comment on the size of my breasts. I would like to keep this work secret until Thanksgiving, the time of my annual review, but I can see that it will get harder.

Last night

We went to our midwife group orientation session last night. Friday is our first midwife appointment. I liked the midwife we met, and I liked the ideas she presented. They really believe in nature and your body, but they also believe in safety first. They deliver in a hospital, so you have access to whatever medical interventions are necessary, but you are free to roam about the room and can deliver in whatever position you want. It's the best of both worlds.

Before the appointment we went to dinner at Hard Times Cafe (mmm, chili...). I got there before K, so I went into the baby store next door and found a book I had to buy for K. It's called Urban Babies Wear Black. K is always saying she wants our baby to wear black. Inside it has fun phrases like "Urban Babies do yoga, urban babies appreciate architecture, urban babies take taxis after a long day". The art is adorable. We want to have an urban baby!

Last night I had my first baby dream. I'm sure there will be more to come. We brought home our little girl from the hospital. She was wearing a black dress with flowers. She slept the whole time. We just put her down and watched her sleep. Lots of friends stopped by and our home was full of people. Then we got a delivery - someone sent us chocolate chip cookies. It was a nice dream.

Babymoon

We figured out our baby moon - the last trip we will take before we are parents. We're going to Deep Creek Lake, MD, for Christmas. K's mom is coming to town for New Year's but we'll be alone for Christmas. Deep Creek Lake is in this weird place in the mountains and so it gets a ton of snow, starting early November. So it should be beautifully snowy by Christmas. There are lots of things I can't do as a pregnant lady - snow tubing, skiing, snowboarding, snow mobiling, ice skating - for fear of falling. But one thing I can do is snowshoe. We've never done that before and are looking forward to it. And besides that we will sit in our room by our fireplace drinking hot chocolate and eating smores, and just relax and have fun together.

Pizza

All I want is pizza. Ever since I got pregnant - pizza. When I was sick, I would think about pizza and know I couldn't have it because it would make me sick, but I still wanted it. Since Wed I've been feeling better and have had pizza for lunch every day. Today I couldn't wait and ate my leftover pizza early. I'm still hungry and all I want is more pizza. Last night we ate our favorite food - Burmese from Mandalay - but what I really was thinking about was going to Ledo's pizza.

It's really strange. Pizza is not the healthiest thing to eat. I need to resist the urge. But when I think about what to eat, everything seems ho-hum except pizza.

Wow - that's a big raise!

I called my sister Wednesday night to tell her, but left a message and got a call back yesterday morning. I asked why she wasn't at work. She said "Don't you know? I quit my job." Huh? Her husband got a raise that was more than twice her salary, so she said, 'why am I working?' Now she stays home to raise her two kids under 5.

Iron

I think I feel better because I stopped taking iron supplements. According to the book Your Vegetarian Pregnancy, vegetarians should take iron supplements in addition to their prenatal vitamins because you need twice as much iron when your pregnant. So I've been doing that. But then I read this:

"Iron is important, but it's also a common cause of nausea. Ask your doc about a vitamin with less iron, or try a liquid or chewable form that might help with the queasiness."

So yesterday I stopped taking iron. And I feel completely different. For the last couple weeks I've been in a constant state of ick. Yesterday I felt almost normal. There is still some queasiness when I eat, but I'm not feeling that constant uneasiness. So I tried it again today - no iron - and again I feel pretty good.

Crossing my fingers as I say this...

I almost feel normal today. Barely any queasiness. I tried apple sauce today and it went down fine. Just in time for today's pizza party at work! I know I need to take it slow, test out food to see how it feels, but I've been deprived of good tasting food for so long. PIZZA!

I told them

Last night I decided to tell my parents. My mom sent me an email asking a bunch of questions about what's going on with me, and I didn't feel right responding to that email without tell her anything, so I decided to call and tell them. I spoke to my mom first. She said she knew this phone call would come soon since she knew we were trying. Good for us for warning them in advance! She said congrats and was mildly excited. She asked questions like when is the baby do, what are your plans for staying home, etc. It went okay. Then I talked to my dad and his first question was a grumpy "How long have you known?" I knew they would feel left out if I waited any longer. My sister called my parents as soon as she got a positive pee stick, at 5am. I waited until I was 7 weeks pregnant. Of course, they love my sister more, so I think that's fair.

All in all it was a nice enough phone call. Now I have to call my sister so that she doesn't feel left out.

Sonogram

We saw our little baby for the first time on Wednesday. We've decided to call her/him Precious Poo for now. Precious Poo is a little white circle with a heartbeat. The due date is May 16. She said we were 6 weeks and 4 days along. It's much more real now that I've seen that there really is something in there. Nausea, large, tender breasts, extreme tired - this wasn't enough. Seeing the little one in there made it real.

It was our last appointment with our RE. She asked who our OB is. Um, we don't have one yet. She seemed pretty shocked. We promised to get one soon. This Sunday we will see a friend who's baby was born last Nov using a midwife. After talking to her, we will definitely make an appointment with someone on Monday.

The queasiness has really taken hold of me, starting Wed night. Yesterday I left work at 1pm just to go home and lay down and not move at all and try to calm my tummy. So much crappy daytime TV! Today I actually feel much better. So far I've been able to eat some dry cornflakes and a piece of toast. When I feel more adventorous, I'm going to try a banana. How brave!

I have the best wife ever. She's been so good to me, and working so hard to keep our home together, and keep me feeling as good as possible. Yesterday I kept telling her I loved her and crying and saying "I mean it, I really love you." And she'd say "I know, you've told me that many times tonight. Now try not to cry, it makes your tummy hurt."

Tomorrow K has to volunteer all day. We are dogsitting a greyhound. The greyhound, our pug, and I plan to lay around all day. I wonder if we can all fit on the futon?

My boobs hurt

For the last two nights I've woken up in the middle of the night with intense boob pain. Putting a bra on helps, though it sucks to sleep with a bra. I guess my breasts do most of their growing at night.

Today we go in for our first ultrasound. I'm excited!