Baby shower ugliness

Sometimes I let myself get too relaxed around my sister and then, boom, she does it again. She's planning this shower for us for Feb 14., the same day as her daughter's second birthday party. That's fine - ours will be a brunch shower and then an afternoon birthday party. And we get to attend the birthday party which is nice because we live far away. So I give her a list of people in our family that I'd like to invite. She comes back and says, no, she'd really rather not invite people who aren't invited to her daughter's birthday party. I can invite our sick aunt because she won't come anyway, but I can't invite my cousin's wives. Now is this my baby shower or just a really long birthday party for her daughter? Aren't there people invited to her birthday party that aren't invited to my shower? I told her how I felt about this, that it's my family shower, so I should get to invite whoever I want in my family. These people mean something to me. It would be rude not to invite them but invite their mother-in-law (the sick woman who won't come anyway). These people have always been warm and welcoming to K and I. And that these parties aren't the same and that it's okay to invite different people to them. But I told her ultimately it was her decision to do whatever she wanted because she was throwing the party. I said 'You know how I feel and what I want, so you make the call'. K says she'll still end up excluding them because she doesn't care that much. K's probably right but we'll see.

K's family shower is working out pretty well. Her aunt is throwing it on Feb. 15, probably a lunch time shower by the pool (it's FL - you can do pool side all year). They've decided to keep it as a surprise for K's mom. It should be nice.