Year in Review

We had a huge year. It's time for reflection. I found these questions on someone else's blog.

1. What did you do in 2008 that you’d never done before?
Went to Australia, got pregnant, bought a new car

2. Did you keep your New Year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't remember. I always want to lose weight and certainly didn't do that this year. I wanted to get pregnant and did that.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yes, our close friends A & C gave birth to baby K in April.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Nanny, a close family friend who always called me her granddaughter.

5. What places did you visit?
Australia to visit K's godmother in May, CT to visit our friend X for 4th of July, Harpers Ferry in August, TN for a family reunion at Thanksgiving, Deep Creek Lake for our Baby Moon over Christmas. A good year for traveling.

6. What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
I got everything I wanted in 2008. I must have been a good girl.

7. What day from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
The day we conceived Precious Poo, the day we found out we were pregnant with Precious Poo, every day in our trip to Australia.

8. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
Well, getting pregnant, of course! I'm also very proud that we are so good with our money. In one year we were able to go to Australia, make a baby, and buy a new car, all without going broke.

9. What was your biggest failure? Hmm, I'm not sure.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
No specific illness, but the first trimester knocked me out. I basically slept for three months and only recently woke up from the fog. It feels really good to be awake.

11. What was the best thing you bought? Our new car!

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
K took such good care of me during the first trimester. She is amazing.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? Oh, who knows.

14. Where did most of your money go? Hmm, in order:
Mortgage, taxes, condo fees
New car
Making a baby and making that baby legal
Traveling to Australia

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Getting pregnant, going to Australia, getting a new car, the birth of K

16. What songs will always remind you of 2008?
American Boy by Estelle featuring Kanye West - we heard this constantly in Australia and then downloaded it as soon as we came home and listened to it nonstop for at least two weeks.
Fidelity by Regina Spektor - K likes to sing this to our baby.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:a) happier or sadder? b) thinner or fatter? c) richer or poorer?
Happier, I guess. We have a pregnancy now, but this time last year we were hopeful, so we were pretty happy then as well.
Fatter. Before I got pregnant in September I was the biggest weight I've ever been, despite a lot of talk of losing weight. Luckily I haven't gained much in the past five months (maybe 4 pounds).
Poorer - we spent a LOT of money this year!

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Helped K out more around the house, volunteered more.

20. How did you spend Christmas in 2008? On our baby moon. We woke up early Christmas morning and unwrapped our presents. Then we drove three hours to Deep Creek Lake and had lunch in our beautiful hotel room. We walked around to the lake with our dog, then got in the car and drove around the lake for a few hours. Back home at dark where I made us a nice chili dinner. Then we lit the fire in the fireplace, snuggled up, and enjoyed a Whole Foods fruit tart. It was a wonderful day.

21. Did you fall in love in 2008?
I fell in love with our baby Precious Poo. I fell in love with our new family definition. I fell in love with K as the mother of our baby.

22. What are your three favourite photos of 2008?
I don't know but I'm sure it's something from our trip to Australia. There are some really cute ones of our dog too. And some great belly shots.

23. What was your favourite TV program? Ugly Betty.

24. What did you do for your birthday in 2008?
It was the big 3-0 and K went all out. My birthday was the Monday after Thanksgiving. The first celebration was the Friday before at a family reunion in TN. My parents threw a surprise birthday party and all of the toddlers jumped out and yelled surprise!

Then on my birthday I had to work but K took the day off. She brought me breakfast in bed. She drove me to work, then came and picked me up for lunch, surprising me with flowers and a balloon. Then she picked me up early from work and we went shopping for maternity clothes and then out to dinner at a little Italian restaurant. Then home for dessert and presents.

My coworkers took me out to lunch at California Pizza Kitchen later in the week. Then on Saturday K threw me a 'Dirty South' birthday party. It was a big year of celebrations!

25. What was the best book you read? I don't remember. I don't read a lot any more, sadly.

26. What was your greatest musical discovery? American Boy by Estelle featuring Kanye West.

27. What did you want and get? A baby in my belly, a new car, a flat screen TV for only $400.

28. What did you want and not get? Keyless entry on my new car.

29. What were your favourite three films this year? The Dark Knight was the best. There were some other good ones, but they don't compare to The Dark Knight.

30. Did you make some new friends this year? Hmm, I don't think so. I'll have to work on that.

31.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
It was a pretty good year, so I can't say.

32. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Right now I'm wearing maternity clothes that I got from other people that I don't necessarily like but they aren't bad, so I guess my current concept 'other people's fashion'.

33. What kept you sane? K as always.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Prop 8, electing Barack Obama.

35. Who did you miss? We lost our friend P. He just stopped calling. I liked him.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
I'm not sure.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008.
Patience. Trying to make a baby is very emotional, but you have to keep your head and be patient. The month it worked we were so depressed thinking it didn't work, but it did.

Happy new year everyone. I hope 2009 is as good as 2008, or better!

We didn't do IVF!

At least 5 people have said something about IVF when talking about our pregnancy, something like 'So since you did IVF...'. I know that it's not traditional to get pregnant as a same-sex couple, and people don't know anything about it, but come on! I always respond "We didn't do IVF. IVF is for people who can't get pregnant." Then they ask what we did do and we explain it. I don't mind explaining it to people, I wish they would just ask from the start instead of assuming we did IVF.

I think this bothers us because IVF is where we drew the line from the start. We said we would do IUIs, like we did, and if needed, we would do drugs, but not IVF. If it got to that point, we would stop and explore our options. We just couldn't see spending so much money before the kid is even born, starting a family with debt. So we drew the line, no IVF, and yet this is where people assume we started.

I also think it bothers me because IVF is for people who can't get pregnant. I got pregnant in four months, only really having two tries with IUIs, unmedicated. The only difference between me and a 'natural' pregnancy is access to sperm. I am fertile, damn it!

There is nothing wrong with being infertile or having to use IVF to get pregnant, but this is just because we are a same-sex couple. When other people get pregnant, people don't automatically assume that they had to use IVF. And I know that people don't know what they are talking about and they mean well, but it's still annoying.

Our baby moon

We just got back from our baby moon in beautiful Deep Creek Lake, MD. We splurged on a nicer hotel than we normally stay at, and we had a kitchen, dining room, living room with fireplace, arched ceiling with exposed beams, just a short walk to the lake. It was wonderful! It was not snowy, sadly. In fact, on Saturday it got as warm as 68 degrees! But the lake was still frozen in parts, so it was still wintery. We went to many state parks, hiked to waterfalls, shopped in tiny local art stores, ate at an old-fashioned soda fountain (K had her first ice cream float!), sat by the fire everynight with hot cocoa, and had a wonderful time. K took pictures of my exposed belly all over the place - in front of waterfalls, in front of the lake, everywhere. Who knows where those pictures will resurface!

Yesterday we came home and invited our friends over for dinner. After they left I threw up my whole dinner! I haven't thrown up anytime except morning yet so this totally sucked. Hopefully it's the last time - I'm definitely through with all of this morning sickness bullshit.

I got an email from my sister yesterday that surprised me. She said to tell her the details of our baby shower because she'd like to fly up for it and help plan it in any way she can. I told her that no one has volunteered to throw us a baby shower yet, but we would love a family shower in FL if she is willing to throw one. Hopefully she will - I was able to think of 9 women in my family that I could invite. I'm all for coed baby showers, but not with the men in my family - it's best to just invite the women who actually care about this stuff! If she does throw us a shower, K is going to ask her aunt and mom to throw a shower the same weekend for her family and our friends that live nearby.

In my response to my sister, I also asked her to write a character reference letter for K's second-parent adoption. Basically, we need three letters of reference stating that K should be allowed to adopt our child. We're supposed to ask family members on both sides of our family and friends of ours. We've decided to ask K's mom (this letter will be very strange but heartfelt), my sister, and our friends J & S who came over last night for dinner. J & S volunteered to write the letter months ago, before we even started trying to get pregnant, so they were always on the list. And we have some backups in mind in case these three don't work out.

My crappy Christmas Eve morning

I have to work today since I'm saving all of my vacation time for maternity leave. K is home because she has use-it-or-lose-it vacation time to use-or-lose and I'm jealous.

So I wake up this morning and quietly get ready for work, starting with breakfast - tasty pumpkin bread with cranberries that we baked last night. But my pregnancy rhinitis is really going strong right now and I sneezed a lot all over my tasty breakfast. That's number 1.

Then I take a shower and try to find some clothes to wear. Since we are packed to go on a trip tomorrow, I don't have many pants. I had been planning to wear a skirt with some tights, but the tights were dirty (I found this out after searching all over for them this morning). I pull out my only clean pants - green corduroys that I wore just last weekend - and realized that they have a big hole in the ass (was it there last weekend?). So now I am wearing the only thing left, the pants I wore yesterday to the same place I wore them yesterday. That's number 2.

Then I brush my teeth. All is going well until I throw up - all of that pumpkin bread and cranberries and orange juice - violently all over the sink. A huge mess. I haven't thrown up in weeks, since before Thanksgiving. But today I did, and it was the worst one yet, and it made a huge mess. That's number 3.

So now I'm at work filling my empty tummy with an egg and cheese bagel from the cafeteria that is only okay, and counting the hours until I go home (which may be early - I think I deserve it).

What to do about Santa?

K and I have been discussing lately what to do about Santa. K doesn't like the idea of lying to our children, but I can't imagine Christmas without Santa. We've still got a couple of Christmases to figure this out.

On The Day You Were Born

We celebrated Christmas with A & C and baby K on Saturday by visiting the annual light show at Brookside Gardens. We'd never been before and it was really fun, though quite cold. We then went to our favorite restaurant for Burmese food and then back to our place where we exchanged gifts. They gave us the book On The Day You Were Born rewritten as a photo journal for the baby. On each page you place a picture regarding the baby's birth that corresponds to the passage in the book and then fill in info about the birth (like the time, the weather, who was there, etc.) And then it's a fun children's book to read about the child's favorite subject - them! It's a really great book and I can imagine children would really love reading it. It's really interactive and asks questions that the children can answer as the memorize the story (like what time were you born). It just seems like it will be really fun to read with them and then also to keep as a keepsake. Also, it's all gender neutral, so we don't have to deal with mother/father issues. It doesn't replace a baby journal, because it doesn't cover anything but the birth. But it covers the birth in great detail so it's a good addition to a baby journal.

As far as a baby journal, we're registering for this one: The New Baby's Baby Journal by Michelle Sinclair Colman (Author), Nathalie Dion (Illustrator), the same people who do the Urban Baby's Wear Black series. It has a family tree with 'Mother/Father' on both sides and you just pick the relevant one. And it's fun like the Urban Baby's Wear Black series, with fun illustrations and fun events to celebrate (like baby's first art museum). We found it while shopping along the U St corridor in DC at a stationary store that is known to have lgbt-friendly items, like same-sex wedding cards and stuff. And we're very excited about it!

Twitch, Twitch, Twitch, Twitch

I'm sitting at work in front of my computer and all of the sudden I start to feel a twitching in my lower belly. It was a series, maybe 6 total, and then it stopped. I may have just felt the baby for the first time!